Tag Archives: rise of the runelords

Ten Year Old Girls Review Rise of the Runelords Miniatures

I had my new minis out from yesterday’s post-purchase initial review of the new Wizkids Pathfinder Battles Rise of the Runelords minis. (My that’s a long name.)  Go there to see the pictures for context. My daughter and one of her little friends saw them and decided to give me their opinions on them.  It was hilarious. Here’s as much as I could capture from stream of consciousness 10 year old girlspeak…

Storm Giantess: “She looks like she’s about to do something to me.”
“Cut you into pieces?”
“Yeah.”

Ogre Brute: “Looks like trollface meme guy.” <brief interruption where they tell me I’m so uncool and not up with the hip new things and we have to Google trollface. He does.>

Mash-fell-knocker (their pronunciation of Malfeshnekor):  <in a high voice> “Who’s a good doggie, who’s a good doggie, who’s a good doggie?” <in a harsh voice> “I kill you!”
“He looks like a monkey with elf ears.”
“He looks like a mix between a bat, a dog, and the ‘My precious’ guy from Lord of the Rings.”

Lucretia: “Her hair and eyes look evil.  She’s kinda bald but pretty. She must be the queen of something.”
<imitating Lucretia>  “You must obey me or be cut into pieces!”

Lyrie Akenja: “For Pete’s sake woman, put on a shirt!”
“Put on a shirt!  Put on a shirt!  Put on a shirt!” <chanting together>
“She has a wand, what is this, Harry Potter?”
“Oh look she has a kitty!”
<a long discussion on the pros and cons of kitties ensues>

Ogrekin: “Looks like Invader Zim with a muscly body and something on his head.”
“Looks like a bodybuilder with a messed up face.”
“Yeah, his face is jacked up.”
“Is that a baby rattle he has?”
<i do have to admit the ogrekin’s weapon is underwhelming, needs more meat on it>

Faceless Stalker:  “It looks like a beast that paints itself.”
“Put on some clothes!”
“His weapon looks like a spoon.”
<reading the base> “6 of 65!  Wow!  Good job for nothin’, guy!”
<this is a pretty weak mini, I agree with the girls>

Wraith: “Tornado man!”
“He kinda reminds me of the Statue of Liberty!”
“I know!”
“He’s not the Statue of Liberty, he’s the Statue of Liberty’s torch.”
“Yeah.”

Goblin Commando on Goblin Dog: “Oh look it’s a gremlin!  It’s a gremlin riding a puppy.”
“He looks like the guy from that book… Origami Yoda!” <I feel pain and regret that apparently kids nowadays don’t know Yoda except via derivative media.>
“He looks like the gremlins from that movie where the girl’s little brother gets taken and she has to marry someone and they attack her face!”
<a long Q&A ensues where I try to figure out what movie she’s talking about>
“Yeah, Labyrinth!”
“I’m bored, can we go play Littlest Pet Shops now?”

Fourth “Xin-Shalast” Session Summary Posted – End Of Campaign!

Part IV of Spires of Xin-Shalast tells the tale of how our brave band – myself, a dwarf entitled Valgrim the Summoner, and my human comrades – Lord Roscoe Dillon, priest of Gorum, God of War; Phiravno the Varisian scarf fighter; Maru Maru, Shoanti Sun Clan monk; Vaelyn, Shoanti Sun Clan dragon shaman; Yenneck Grumman, Ranger of the Black Arrows – ended the schemes of Kharzoug the Claimer, Runelord of Greed.  Inside his ruined capital of Xin-Shalast, indeed atop the very Runewell of Greed, we met him and withstood his arcane assault to end his life.  Golarion slumbers, safer now but largely unaware of the fate our brave heroes averted.

And so ends the Rise of the Runelords campaign, almost exactly a year to the day after we began it.  Props to Paizo Publishing for one of the best D&D campaigns ever, especially James Jacobs, Nick Logue, and Richard Pett.

But there’s no rest for the wicked!  This week, we start the next Adventure Path, Curse of the Crimson Throne, this time using the Pathfinder RPG beta rules!

Third “Xin-Shalast” Session Summary Posted

We may be approaching the climax of the campaign in Part III of Spires of Xin-Shalast. Valgrim calls an angel to help, and the group rolls into a devil-haunted arena to do battle…   And then to the Pinnacle of Avarice to find and defeat the Runelord himself.  Wave after wave of giants broke upon us and fell apart like surf upon the rocks – once, twice, three times.  We slay without respite, or hesitation, or mercy.  The summary ends in media res as more enemies stir in the darkness beyond the piles of cloud and storm giant carcasses.  Who shall fall?!?

Second “Xin-Shalast” Session Summary Posted

In Part II of the Spires of Xin-Shalast, the last installment of the Rise of the Runelords Adventure Path, our heroes begin their insurgency campaign within the ruins of fallen Xin-Shalast.  Yeti, dragons, and…  uh, weird invisible psychic slither-beasts prove no match for their spells and steel as they prepare to close in on the Runelord.  Death or glory!

And Then Things Got Out Of Hand

Our doughty band travelled way past the settled frontier into the Kodar Mountains, seeking the legendary golden streets of Xin-Shalast, Runelord Kharzoug’s millenia-lost capital.  But, holed up by a blizzard out in that remote place, trapped in a shelter together for what seemed like an infinity, our hunger grew different.  More severe… savage.  Not to be sated by magically conjured gruel.  What strange meat might quench it?   Oh, what?!?

Find out in Part I of the Spires of Xin-Shalast, the latest installment of the Rise of the Runelords Adventure Path!

Fifth Runelords “Sins of the Saviors” Session Summary Posted

Our intrepid band finishes its total subjugation of the Runeforge in the fifth and final installment of “Sins of the Saviors.” The Iron Cages of Lust and Shimmering Veils of Pride bow down before the Relentless Kickers of Ass!

Next, we must locate and travel to the haunted peak of Mar-Massif, upon which lurks the frozen spires of forgotten Xin-Shalast.  And in it the shade of the former Runelord of Greed, Kharzoug, who seeks to lurch back to ill-formed life. I will destroy him and take his place as a proper Runelord! Mmmwah hah ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!

Fourth Runelords “Sins of the Saviors” Session Summary Posted

Our intrepid heroes return to tramp through the undead-filled Vaults of Gluttony (one of many dungeons in the Runeforge), and my summoned monsters tear up both “level bosses” in: