OK, so respect to all filmmakers, but some of the movies from the fest I was unhappy with. No 1/5s this year, I don’t completely regret seeing any of them, but I wouldn’t recommend someone watch them unless they are super into whatever its subject in and even then I’d have some notes.
And in the category of “bad”, I had some utter chaos IRL – I had to miss two showings due to a killer hailstorm partially destroying my house. 0/5 no bueno, would not recommend. Maybe good fodder for a natural disaster film better than Acide. But once I got my shattered windows and skylight covered and called my insurance company, there was really nothing to do but go back to the fest!
Divinity, a very impressionistic black&white film about… immortality serum and… hard to be sure what else exactly. It is directed by Steven Soderbergh but do not let that lead you to think it is good or has a budget over $100k. Has angels (maybe), hookers (pretty sure), scientists (pretty sure), fetus milking (I think) and some stop motion animation for the final scene (real sure). And completely incomprehensible plot. Some interesting visuals at least, 2/5
The Origin aka Out of Darkness, where cro-mags 45000 years ago struggle to survive in Scotland, a blasted and inhospitable wasteland in the best of millennia. Like Prey or 13th Warrior but less fun. High realism survival… or lack thereof. Dirty and boring mostly, but some suspense, 2/5
Kennedy – An Indian crime drama with our antihero being an ex-cop working as a hit man for crooked cops (and as an Uber driver?) and seeking revenge for his blown up boy. Nice and slick and well acted but way, way too long. 2/3 of the way through you’re like “I know how it’s gonna end let’s just get there eh?” Also he sees dead people but not in any plot relevant way. Cut a half hour or better yet 45 minutes out, put it on Netflix, people will watch it. 2/5
We Are Zombies – A “Z Nation” low-caliber production set in a world where the living and non-brain eating living dead (or “living impaired”) coexist. Plot is about three slackers ripping off a zombie “humane disposal” company by getting there first and selling people’s former loved ones to a performance artist. “Zilf webcam shows” is the height of humor here. 2/5 and that’s me being generous.
100 Yards – Decent Chinese period martial arts fighting marred by a convoluted plot, frankly baffling character motivation, and indifferent acting. Not enough martial arts per minute. And in the end the victor is…. The French post office? In a surprise last minute victory over… old people? Yes, seriously. I shoulda slept in. 2/5.
Baby Assassins 2 – two Japanese girls (not really babies, more like GenZs) cope with life as assassins guild members when they really just want to eat. Two similar lads decide they need to kill them to get their spot in the guild and hijinks ensue. Decent action and super annoying acting. A John Wick premise with an Aggretsuko execution. Ok but forgettable, except that the Matthew Lillard looking one liked to snack on Churus (the cat treat), which was funny. 2/5
One-Percenter – a Japanese action star really knows him some action and unleashes it on some Yakuza in a “Die Hard in a factory” scenario when they interrupt his filming. It was ok but the kills (well, takedowns) were a little weak. Floppy fake guns were distracting and I had seen things like flashlight beat downs done much better at the same film festival. And there was too much “meta” actor/stuntman self congratulatory stuff for me (hey film people your film’s audience is not just filmmakers, if you want to make more than $20 that is). 2/5
Saw X – Normally I wouldn’t go to a Saw movie but it was a secret screening so I was already seated by the time it started (though about ten people rushed the door to leave once it was announced). I haven’t watched many Saw movies so had to figure out that the old guy was Jigsaw and the chick was his apprentice, but I got there. Jigsaw has brain cancer and goes to an international clinic but it’s a scam so it’s torture murder time. But man there was a lot of plot relative to the torture murders, unusually, which made it better for me than the average Saw movie. Torture porn not my thing 2/5
The Deep Dark – French miners (well, one is French, the rest are the European version of diversity, a Spaniard, Italian, Moroccan, and so on) dig too deep at the behest of some visiting archaeologist and find some Lovecraft, and get chased around the mines by a Spirit Halloween display. Started well but lagging pacing and fully showing an unconvincing puppet monster hurt it (have you read no Lovecraft! Fear of the unknown yo, don’t show the monster so much). 2/5
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