Tag Archives: crusade

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Five, Herald of the Ivory Labyrinth – Second Session

Nightcrawler

Nightcrawler

Second Session (8 page pdf) – We need to go bleed the Father of Wyrms for his tasty, tasty… I mean super-acidic blood.

But first, some more demodands!  We met one last session and I tried to talk with it but everyone just chopped it up. We meet three more, and while we do some chopping we take the leader, a shaggy demodand, alive. Why aren’t they shaggy? The tarry ones are tarry and the slimy ones are slimy, but the shaggy ones are just fat.  It’s weird.  Anyway, they are apparently the jailers of Baphomet.  He tells us lots of stuff but the most disturbing is that Baphoment was created as a “consort” by Lamashtu – in other words, as a goat-headed (NSFW link!) RealDoll. Disturbing.

Then we go find the giant epic daddy of all nightcrawlers and come up with cunning plans to get its blood, but it turns out running up to it and hitting it a couple times till it dies suffices. We get its Alien-style acid blood and go to Baphomet’s prison. It is guarded by one-eyed, one-horned flying purple people eaters.  (Really!)

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Five, Herald of the Ivory Labyrinth – First Session

Vescavor Demon

First Session (8 page pdf) – Our righteous heroes head into the Abyss to free the Herald of Iomedae.  We keep wanting to just go kill Baphomet instead.

Iomedae herself appears to us and gives us tests and doodads and sends us to the Abyss to get her imprisoned herald. The Ivory Labyrinth is a suck-hole, you just wander around for weeks till you find things.  The entrance is guarded by a couple interesting waves of critters, but then it’s interminable wandering.

We do take a perverted fly-headed demon captive and use him to lead us to the capital, Blackburn. We try to trade for information with a hivemind of vescavor demons, but everything it has to say either a) we already know or b) is unhelpful because there’s no such thing as directions here,  you just wander around and make Survival and Knowledge: Planes checks (reflecting what we have no idea) till you find your destination.

Oh and we meet a planetar who is just wandering around and wants to join up.  “Uh… OK,” we say.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – Sixth Session

Hepzamirah

Hepzamirah

Sixth Session (10 page pdf) – We murder our way through the naughtiness mines till we come across Baphomet’s daughter. Then we murder her.  Then Nocticula murders Baphomet.  Then we go shopping.

First up is killing a tentacle monster like they have here. Then horned demons.  And a glabrezu. And succubi.  We just sing the demon-killing song as we kill them (any Megadeth song). And our war cry of “No Witnesses!” echoes off the walls of the demonic mines.

Finally we fight Hepzamirah, a Nephilim sired by Baphomet. With liberal doses of Mythic Bullshit we kill her. Baphomet tries to give us some stick but Nocticula is all like nuh-uh and melts him and gets us out of there and delivers us back to Queen Galfrey and it’s the end of the chapter.

And Nocticula still didn’t try to kill us or sex us up… I’m very disappointed. (Mainly because my character is gay and I wanted to come up with some snappy zinger when she tried to vamp on me.)

Nocticula

Nocticula

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – Fifth Session

The Fulsome Queen

The Fulsome Queen

Fifth Session (11 page pdf) – We explore an island in the Abyss and name its land features after Queen Galfrey in proper British explorer style. Then we meet a sexy slime demon and kill a dragon for its lewt.

The river we were heading up on this Abyssal island was called the Nameless River. Ever one to bring order to chaos, that inspired me/my character to name it the Purifying River of Queen Galfrey. I was somewhat disappointed that didn’t cause an earthquake or something. So I named all subsequent features from their stupid demon names to nice things in the name of the Queen!

Have I mentioned how powerful we have become? Only 11th level but 6 mythic tiers and a bunch of god-given knick-knacks.  When a green dragon that attacked last time turned up again this time, we just beat it unconscious and gave it a scrub-bath and left it lying there with a ribbon around its neck. It’s those little touches beyond just killing things that clearly states “leave them the FUCK alone” to random demon Abyssal residents.

Calanthe just uses her combat actions to use her rod of wonder now rather than cast useful spells.  We’re OK with that.

Calanthe fires the rod of wonder at the left-hand barbican. Loud laughter erupts from the walls of the tower, drowning out all other sounds in the area. Antonius streaks over to the laughing tower. He leaps from the carpet of flying screaming, “Who’s laughing now?”

One of the tieflings screams, “Not me! That would be rude!” His politeness doesn’t save him – Antonius strikes him four times, sending him on the burning path to the eternal forge from which none can ever gain surcease. Then he turns to the other demoniac tiefling and crushes him, flinging his broken body over the burning precipice into the shadowed darkness of the pit down which the lost shall fall forever.

As that effect is permanent, this place is thence called “The Laughing Gate.” Then to “Galfrey Falls.” Then a slime demoness invites us to steal a dragon’s treasure – we are all on board with that plan! Even if she is some refugee from Internet fetish art.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – Fourth Session

Minagho

Minagho

Fourth Session (11 page pdf) – We need a party favor for when we visit Nocticula, so we go grab Minagho, Baphomet’s minion, as a present. Then we visit Nocticula, and strangely there’s no sex involved. And then we go to an Abyssal island!

What can  you bring the demon queen that has everything? Well, we’re not rich enough to get her something that would impress, so we decide to bring her a key ally of another demon lord. We pay off a demon to narc her out, find her cave, and beat her up. Turns out Baphomet was mad at her and had cursed her bad so it wasn’t all that hard.

Then we get an audience with Nocticula! She gives us info and treats and doesn’t even make us perform sex acts on fly-headed demons (not really sure why not…).

Next thing we know we’re headed to an Abyssal island formed from the corpse of the demon lord of jungles, poisoned water, and dragons. “I wonder what we’ll find there,” said no one…

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – Third Session

Gelderfang

Gelderfang

Third Session (11 page pdf) – To make an impression, we take on Lucha Libre character aliases and go to the local arena and murder our way up the gladiator list till everyone leaves us alone. And then we go to a house party!

So we’re in Alushinyrra in the Abyss and want to gain Nocticula’s attention.  Usually that would call for sex and torture and assassination but we’re all paladin types so we go to the arena to kill demons instead.

We take on stage names and costumes for the event!

  • Antonius becomes “Mindfreak,” dressed in a Ming the Merciless robe and a helmet that looks like a mind flayer head (since trademark violation is super evil!).
  • Calanthe becomes “Stripperella” due to her succubus costume.
  • Tsuguri becomes “The Fiendish Dr. Fu Manchu.” He wears a demon-fetishist rig with green crescent moons and a transparent helmet that looks like it has a brain inside.
  • Tabregon buys leather clothing with floating colored strips and styles himself “Dr. Nasty.”
  • Shawanda is “The Brick.” She has some bricks with her. She’s not the most inventive of paladins.
  • Trystan is “The Elf With No Name.” Mainly because he is determined not to get into the spirit of things and has no stage name.

It goes well, we only have to kill a couple trash mobs before Gelderfang, an incubus with a pizza cutter hand, comes for us.

Shawanda “The Brick” runs up and cuts chunks off Gelderfang, pleasing the crowd and leaving Gelderfang looking horribly maimed. Oh Gelderfang, he’s not pretty no more!

Trystan “The Elf With No Name” shoots Gelderfang again, skewering him. Calanthe “Stripperella” flies in again and strikes Gelderfang with both blindness (which Gelderfang resists) and the rod of wonder (which causes dance music to start playing).

Antonius invokes his titan’s stance and grows to large size and starts dancing to the throbbing techno beat. He crushes Gelderfang’s skull and extracts his brain as the crowd roars its approval. “Mind Freak!!!!” he shrieks in his best mind flayer/Cobra Commander voice. The characters are swarmed with enthusiastic folks of all descriptions from the audience.

Afterwards, we find a night hag selling magic items from the Magic Item Compendium because D&D 3.5e is still holding on in the Abyss.

Then I left before the rest of the group went to win the favor of a succubus lord – when asked what they would do to entertain her, the answer was “Extreme political satire!” But since everyone in the group rolls huge on any skill check you care to name, it all worked out fine in the end.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – Second Session

Shemhazian Demon

Shemhazian Demon

Second Session (13 page pdf) – We go to the Abyss and murder our way up the wandering monster chart till everyone leaves us alone. And then we go to the big city!

This session is a lot of fights.  We fight to close the gate to the Abyss (with us on the Abyss side) and then we fight random demon attack after random demon attack until finally we kill a shemhazian – a 35 foot tall 12 ton killing machine.  We set its decapitated head upon the battlements of our magical fortress – and the random encounters suddenly stop. Mission accomplished.

Then we go into a big demon city with a clever disguise!

As the characters look around like rubes, a thanadaemon steps in front of them. “Are you escaped prisoners? Do not lie, I will know it!”

Calanthe answers, “We are not. We are here for our own reasons. I am a succubus and this is my cult. And I am shopping for shoes.”

“Would you like me to serve as your guide? I would be happy to do so in exchange for a soul.”

“I don’t think so.”

“If you reconsider, please call for me first. My name is Xugunfarishandoon.”

“Certainly.”

Xugunfarishandoon gets back into its boat and paddles away.

Daemons are stupid.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Four, The Midnight Isles – First Session

Queen Galfrey

  Queen Galfrey

First Session (12 page pdf) – We pick up Queen Galfrey of Mendev and roll out to the Midnight Fane to stop their mythic-demon-elixir naughtiness.

It’s the beginning of a new chapter.  In a surprise move, Queen Galfrey of Mendev wants to come with us into the Abyss.  “OK, I reckon,” we say, and she settles down into the usual quiet and mostly-useless NPC role that all party NPCs do. Weird.

We go to the Midnight Fane, and manage to restrain ourselves from killing long enough to be escorted to the local boss.  It’s a big fight, but it turns out most of it was with a projected image from some eyeless minotaur chick that teleports away.

Ursathella the Snake Lady

Ursathella the Snake Lady

Then we go find a snake lady and engage in witty repartee.

Antonius tells her, “Mutasafet sent us. He says, ‘Blaaaggh!’ And do you know anything about the ecology of ash giants?”

The serpent-woman responds, “While would be very interesting to have a long conversation with you about ash giants, I think I shall have that conversation after you are dead. I have promised my mistress Areelu Vorlesh that I shall defend the Rift at all costs!”

Antonius offers, “You better simmer down or we’re going to dimensional anchor your snaky ass and murderhobo you.”

She does not simmer down, so we do.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Three, Demon’s Heresy – Sixth Session

Xanthir Vang

Xanthir Vang

Sixth Session (11 page pdf) – We slay Xanthir Vang, and then it’s mostly all over but the looting.  The extensive, extensive looting.

A spellcaster I can’t grapple?  Well that’s a corker.  I use my mythic maneuver power to Dirty Trick him while everyone else tries to figure out how to hurt him.  Sadly, “area effect spells” are what we don’t use, though apparently they would have been great.  After an epic fight, we kill him anyway.

End of battle quote, courtesy Bruce our session scribe, who often lives in a parallel plane of existence:

Calanthe looks at the mass of disintegrating worms. She says, “And thus I am avenged for the deaths of my parents. This is how we treat assassins who have no respect for life.” In saying this, of course, she does not know that she is channeling the only known words of Argrath the Liberator, who uttered a sacred oath to tear the Red Moon from the Middle Air.

An insider note – Xanthir offered a question-for-question info exchange.  We agreed, as long as Tabregon answered the questions.  This is a bit of an inside joke; Bruce, Tabregon’s player, both attends via Skype (and sometimes gets a warped impression of what’s going on as a result) and is somewhat notorious for not being able to explain things in a concise and coherent way.  We all giggled at the thought of this being put to good use against our enemies for once. Xanthir got frustrated fast and just went to combat. Heh heh.

The rest of the time we piled up loot. Next, we’re on to The Midnight Isles!

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Three, Demon’s Heresy – Fifth Session

Jerribeth

Jerribeth

Fifth Session (11 page pdf) – After a brief regrouping, we head out to the Ivory Labyrinth where we fight Jerribeth, a fetching looking mythic glabrezu demon, and send her down the dark road to the black mountain from which none ever return. Then we come face to… something squirmy with the worm-man sorcerer Xanthir Vang and, one can only assume, his magical pan flute!

First, though, Trystan convinces Arushalae to give him her magical bow as, you know, part of her repentance. This gives Antonius a very, very poor impression of Trystan. Avarice is non-good in general but Irori teaches separation from all earthly entanglements, so this is double grody to him. If this were a real good story, people’s sins would get used against them at some point during the AP but I’m sure that won’t happen.  It would be boss though.

We get to the Ivory Sanctum and find Jerribeth, who looks fair but is really just a glabrezu.  I grapple her anyway, which hurts a lot but I’m trying to become the ultimate mythic grapple monster so it’s good practice. It doesn’t stop her attacks but it sure stops her spells. I repeat my mocking schtick about “redeeming everyone!” when we defeat Jerribeth…

“OK, now let’s lead her on the road to redemption!” he declares, pausing long enough to see the horrified expressions on his comrades’ faces before snapping the demon’s neck.

Then we kick in a lot of buffs and just rampage through the complex. “Don’t stop to loot – there’s more kill to be had!” we cry as we sprint past our downed foes to the next room. We only halt once we get to Ol’ Wormy himself… Next time!

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Three, Demon’s Heresy – Fourth Session

Arushalae, Reformed Succubus

Arushalae, Reformed Succubus

Fourth Session (9 page pdf) – We find an allegedly reformed succubus and fight a sea of enemies on her behalf, just like with a normal succubus.

So this reformed succubus sends Tabregon a dream and we go get her and kill her enemies and she’s good and we of course believe her and want her to come join the Crusade because those guys are just poopy-head racists whenever they don’t like anyone with horns.

As you can tell from the tone there I started to get a bad attitude about this time and I’ll explain why.

Here’s the problem I have – it’s partly with this adventure path, and partly with how some of our party is acting around these “redemption” plotlines. We’re just eating the plot-points like so much pablum without any real roleplaying or interesting conflict about what’s supposed to be difficult moral decisions.  I’m not dumb, I’m sure she really is supposed to be good and there’s no “game success” repercussions to blindly trusting her.  That’s par for the course for these Paizo storylines, they usually only have one layer of complexity to them and don’t require you to really think or make hard decisions to succeed. What I do object to is not having any realistic push-back at all.  Succubi, what with the telepathy and dominate person? So we should all automatically back her?  I’m sure the crusaders won’t just throw us in the hole and execute her when we return, but they *should*, or at least there should be the threat of that.  “Detect evil” and metagaming shouldn’t settle every argument and some of these attempted redemptions (we’ve hauled a half dozen high level evil folks back to camp and dumped them there as possible proteges) should bite us in the ass.

I like the idea of a good campaign, and of the possibility of redeeming some foes – I’m usually the only one in most of our games suggesting we don’t just kill all our enemies out of hand. Everyone shouldn’t be unremittingly evil or there’s never any hope or changing people. But the way this is playing out, it just makes it… Cheap. There’s just no drama about it.  So it makes me bored.  As an Irori-ite I find Chaos just about as objectionable as Evil, but I’m sure no one in the group is interested in talking about that philosophical point so bah.

I understand some people like their games like this, but to me this kind of thing is the interesting crux of roleplaying so when it gets short shrift it drains most of the enjoyment for me – I could give a shit about killing more monzterz for their XPz. Story shouldn’t be video game cutscenes inflicted on you… I am trying to push more real in-character discussion on this stuff but we don’t have all of the group IC at the same moment pretty much ever so it’s hard to get going.

Wrath of the Righteous Chapter Three, Demon’s Heresy – Third Session

Vrock

Vrock

Third Session (7 page pdf) – a Woundwyrm and mythic vrocks decide to challenge our Mythic Bullshit ™ but are thwarted! And we thaw out some new friends.

We prepped heavily for the fight with the Woundwyrm and it ended up being quite mobile and complex. Tsuguri’s aura of madness ability is the real star here, causing the beast to lose several rational moves.

“I know, let’s redeem it!” exclaims Antonius! Before everyone is done with their expressions of shock and horror,  he finishes it a swat from his weapon.

After we kill it we bust out some guys who got turned into statues, and one, Trevor, is Sosiel’s lost brother and has written a long sad letter to him.  We joke about delivering the letter and then trotting his brother out 30 seconds later. He’s pretty buff, so I try flirting with Trevor but to little effect.

Then we go to my Place of Destiny ™ and kill the mythic vrock that engineered the evil ritual that set me on my path to mythic notability.

This was a pretty tactical session but I was punchy so I got in a lot of little quips.