Monthly Archives: November 2025

Thirty-Seventh Session – It’s a tie as to what’s the most dangerous experience this session – tentacle-birthed monstrous servitors of a dark god, or Ned setting our campsite on fire – twice.

We travel through weird random encounters and Ned setting our campsite on fire. At long last we get to the Shrine of the Bethines where Podrick needs to cleanse the Helm of Chistu, which is supposed to be all kinds of help against the evil undead hordes. It’s just full of horrid Servitors of Zeron, though you can knock their teeth out and eat the teeth to get protection from hostile elements.

The experience of swallowing malign chaos magic is deeply unpleasant, about like smoking, eating the contents of the ashtray, and washing it down with Ivanovich vodka. After that, the characters each experience a mild, cold numbness.

He means Ivanabitch vodka, which is the worst thing Chris ever fed to us. He got it on clearance for like $2. It’s a “menthol flavored” vodka. It tastes like a stripper throwing up in your mouth. This was easily a decade ago but it still haunts us.

We delve deep into a weird dungeon, including a room with 30 skeletons in it that we manage to not have to fight. A gaseous demon poses a real problem but luckily my magic flaming bow gives it a good what for.

Finally we emerge with a cleansed helm! And Ned sets our campsite on fire again.

P.S. This appears to be “The Zeron Protocol” from the 2016 Gongfarmer’s Almanac.

Thirty-Sixth Session – We head from Kingspire to Wymoor and meet some bewitched goons we manage not to murder, and then some other goons we do murder.

We take our large retinue on the road. The first night, we meet the artifact hunters on the road that we were sure were going to just waylay us last time we met them. This time they found an artifact, a crown, that has clearly bent them and they insist Hemp is the True King and should put on the crown. We tweak to that immediately but the fight doesn’t go great until Ned managed to magic missile the crown for an insane amount of damage and they all get a grip again.

We decide to put a curse on one of the artifacts they’re selling up the river to the evil lackey of the wizard king, Lady Skian. Turns out she and her undead army have taken over Fythorp, which we figured was coming eventually.

Then we come across some friars fighting some prisoners. For whatever reason, most of the PCs decide to murder the majority of the friars until Hemp finally gets everyone to calm down. The friars insist the prisoners are guilty of random crimes so we have Podrick judge them, which he does fairly but sternly.

Grond, Barka, and Skarn are three berserkers who decide they have nothing better to go back to and are grateful, so swear to serve Hemp as his personal bodyguards! Nice.

We settle most of our otherworldly followers in Wymoor where we buy them a house. Logistics and carousing takes us through the rest of the session!