Fortieth Session – Ned finally fights in the Wizard Kumite! But that’s not the height of drama this session because it turns out Soylent Green is people!!! And the island we’re on sinks.
Since we are in a crazy wizard deathmatch tournament, some of the other wizards are understandably reluctant to open their AirBnB tower doors and speak with us. Which is probably wise as we do contemplate home invasions when it suits us.
However, the one that will talk to us turns out to not really be a mage but a hot thief in disguise. Her costume of an old, white-bearded wizard drives Gallfred mad with desire. Hemp rolls 1d20 (1-10: cockblock; 11-20: wingman) and decides to assist this doomed romance.
Illika the Fey gets a bye on her first round since Urzeth turned up dead of a severe dagger allergy. Our own Ned gets tapped for the next fight with Alred the Harbinger of Fate, who is just a toad-looking guy. I immediately start making Wastri the Hopping Prophet references even though no one else gets them. “You know? The Greyhawk quasi-deity of amphibians and racism? Like a 1980s Pepe the Frog!” They just stare at me until we return to play.
Alred’s froggy familiar tries to gas us on the street. Well, I say tries, but it did, and it was a pretty bad poison, but we survive. In an attempt to prove that the Secret Masters running this wizard tournament are up to no good, we decide to go break in to the crematorium they cart the dead wizards off to, and, spoiler alert, they are using them to make tasty treats, including the tasty treats in our tournament gift basket that we’ve been snacking on.
Now we have proof! And tasty cannibal treats, as solidly half the party is Chaotic and down with it since they give nice buffs. In fact, my character Hemp really appreciates this as Aphiel his god always wants him to commit cannibalism but he considers that pretty gross and declasse.
Then it’s time for Ned’s fight! It’s pretty anticlimactic because he goes first and blasts Alred with the biggest magic missile ever conjured, one-shotting him.
But that’s for the best because we decide it’s time to ambush us some Secret Masters as they wine and dine Ned for being the winner. Read on for the climax and watery denoument!
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