Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twenty-fifth Session

Twenty-fifth Session – Ogre drug dealers enliven the journey back to Fythorp, where baths and treasure sales are the order of the day.

This session is mostly roleplay in town, which is fun. I get there late and spend a solid hour on inventory and selloff, as we have a bunch of stuff and seldom are in anyplace with more than two rubles to rub together.

Oh, and now we’re rich enough to get horses, so we spend quite some time naming them.

Hemp commissions a tiny suit of armor for Zipzap. Hemp names his horse Wildfire.
Podrick refuses to name his horse, in to improve his chances of crossing a desert.
Old Man Fish’s horse’s name is Matilda.
Ned Wimbley names his horse You Bastard.
Mordecai names his horse (tbd).

Then we try to convince people there’s an undead army coming for them. It goes modestly. But in the end, they hand some noncombatants and the mayor’s daughter and her girlfriend off to us and we escort them to our home town of Weebrook.

It’s a little weird to be selling treasure and partying it up in a place that we’re pretty sure a skeleton army is going to wipe off the map – we don’t have any immediate way to stop it, either, except a long term plan to get Podrick’s helm un-cursed. We’ll figure something out, I hope!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twenty-fourth Session

Twenty-fourth Session – We extract from the Temple of the Carnifex right through a giant Ewok tree village full of goblins!

Well, Gallfred Weasel finally gets his wish of unlimited goblins to kill with Shadeslayer. He still spends a lot of the time hiding. And unconscious. With no Mordecai either it’s just Hemp, Old Man Fish, Ned, and Podrick against a whole raft of goblins and giant bats and goblin moonshine and bat swarms. And a goblin vampire.

Luckily we’re on a hot streak – in combat, and also my one-liners flow fast and furious!

Hemp picks up a skewered, roasted bat and nibbles on it. He tells the others, “The children of the night… What tasty snacks they make.” Ned watches Hemp carefully for signs of hydrophobia.
[…]
The throne is carved from the back wall of the cave, so (sadly) not portable in any way. Hemp tries sitting on it. He finds that it is made for a goblin, so not particularly comfortable. In spite of that, he insists, “I never tire of sitting on dead men’s thrones.”

Then it’s all over but the looting!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – A Year In

The last session marks a solid year of our gaming group playing in Paul’s DCC campaign. (He runs every other week while I run my Reavers Pathfinder campaign in alternate.) I thought it’d be a good time to do a retrospective on how we’re finding the game.

It’s going well! The zero-level funnel was fun and we’re all about third level now so not quite as squishy.

Dungeon Crawl Classics is – hard. Deliberately, that’s its deal. It’s easy to die.

Magic and healing come at a very sharp cost. At the low end it’s ability damage and at the high end it’s mutation and such. It’s very random, too, most of the rulebook is lengthy random tables for every spell. Powerful magic items get you the wrath of the gods and thus penalties. We have more hit points now but there’s plenty of ways to take lots of damage, ability damage, or straight up save or dies where your hit points aren’t a major impediment. Attack economy is an overwhelming factor – even at this level “six skeleton archers” are a holy-shit moment.

Wilderness travel threatens to kill us not just with random encounters but with fishing accidents and dysentery. Being outside a city is terrifying. (And most of the “cities” are just 20-ish primitive screwhead mud farmers; nowhere we’ve been has things like “shops”.)

And the flavor is gritty. Adventures are about wading through mud, and blood, and rat pus, and rotting flesh that sometimes wants to have sex with you. NPCs are all feckless, whether Lawful or Chaotic. Even our fellow party members – we’re friends, but we sometimes are working at cross-purposes especially when our various supernatural masters are involved. And there’s a price or downside for nearly everything.

And we like it!

I got a comment on a previous session summary saying “it doesn’t seem like you are having fun from reading the summaries!” Well, we are, but our characters aren’t, I’d say… Except for the rare occassion they manage to get a good meal and a bath the world pretty much sucks to live in. But we’re all old school gamers who played original D&D (and many other games) since the ’80’s and it’s a nice change of pace from the anime-superheroes power fantasy mode of modern gaming.

Now, the system is different in a good way from AD&D 0e/1e. Fighters have mighty deeds of arms, starting spellcasters can cast more than one spell a day (with risk), Luck gives everyone a chance to improve stuff a little. Early D&D, you had 2 hp, 1 spell to case, and otherwise were shit out of luck. So the system’s a little more textured and forgiving.

But they definitely have an adventure style (most of the ones we have played are written by DCC mega-author Harley Stroh) based on the grittiest of the 1e strain of modules.

But as we are grown ass men, the challenge is part of the point. It also rewards being smart; it is combat as war, not combat as sport. While being stupid can lead to death from trivial causes, very dangerous encounters can be made way easier with careful planning, positioning, and scheming. Traps and dungeoneering are less about rolls and more about reasoning. That’s the most engaging part of the game for me (well, and the roleplay, but in the game part) – being clever enough to reduce the risk of what’s going on. Within the limits of most of us being weird Chaotic freaks, we’re not like a SWAT team or anything. And magic is very unreliable, so it’s hard to count on in a plan.

Having six PCs definitely helps (though not much healing), and Paul knows how hard DCC is so usually runs underleveled adventures for us. And we’ve gamed together for a while, so we know how we tend to think and act in combat.

Also, the cool thing about this is that you get additional powers not just from “leveling”, but from weird artifacts and Gygaxian pools and doodads and boons and stuff, so we are able to flex our characters in desired ways without having “a feat for that”.

The characters are shaping up well, I think, for being randomly generated!

  • Podrick (Patrick) is our Lawful knight-wannabe, so is our impetus to do “good things” plot wise, and is a very effective tank and has a good magic spear.
  • Gallfred Weasel (Bruce) with his Cloak of Cheret the Lost is so stealthy that we forget about him (and in extremis, he even forgets about himself).
  • Mordecai (Matt) has become a very powerful and very Chaotic gish (wizard but with armor and sword) and is enjoying necromancy and becoming ghoulish. The necromancy rules make it a little tough to get actual zombies which frustrates him. “You get an undead… upper torso!”
  • Old Man Fish (Chris) has struggled a little game rule-wise; as a ranger he has an animal companion but it’s his horse and doesn’t come in dungeons; he is an archer but has low damage. Personally he’s always a solid part of the group though, is often my fellow “plan guy” and has been helpful in the wilds (though some of those rolls require stats he is low in). Later on he gets healing and rage and stuff to fill it in.
  • Ned (Tim) is definitely a fan of the weirdo mutation part of being a wizard, it’s actually hard to keep up with his bug infestation and tentacles and dirt fetish. Man he can magic missile the shit out of things if he rolls well!
  • Hemp the Weaver (me) has tripled down on archery which works out well; force projection is important in a combat-as-war game. He has a side gig in being the party tailor which is fun.

Everyone’s got a good personality and a good schtick. And an overall plot is emerging – it was just random stuff but now it’s gelling around an evil monster king sending bullshit our way, so fighting against that is unifying. Lawful and Chaotic folks alike love to kill evil kings!

Bruce (who is our usual session summary scribe) adds his thoughts:

The game system does a nice job of giving each of the classes a trick that makes them useful in a (relatively) unique way during gameplay – the traditional OSR issue of fighter-types gradually becoming first just a huge well of (defensive) hit points, and then becoming entirely optional appurtenances of the heavy-artillery wizards is something the rules deal with nicely. I’ve personally really appreciated the easy regenerability of Thief LUCK – balanced by the fact that to effectively use Thief skills I end up with a character that cannot stand even close to the front lines.

As regarding the campaign, the ongoing sequence of character quests gives the players a good ability to guide the world. I’ve very much appreciated that. Paul has done a good job of mitigating the “only one shall survive!” nature of the mostly convention-oriented adventures. Adventures built with the idea of integrating more into an ongoing campaign would be useful, but perhaps not something that is as worthwhile to publish. The idea that characters can undergo remarkable transformations of nature that are overall a benefit (with some drawbacks), and that this is more common than outright curse effects that are nothing but bad, promotes more character experimentation, which is ultimately better for gameplay.

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twenty-third Session

Twenty-third Session – Deeper into the Temple of the Carnifex we go, fighting through an ancient cult in order to… Well, we figure that out as we go.

We fight a bunch of dudes in here and largely have no idea why we’re doing it. “Are we ze baddies?” we are forced to ask. Mordecai finally shares some of what’s going on:

There is a brief discussion where Mordecai reveals the purpose of the quest: he found out from Lady Skeam that the king is sending an army of undead to march on Fythorp, and he can stop them with the power within this crypt, by taking control of the army and sending them back on their creator. The rest of the party suddenly feel much more motivated.

Anyway, after we kill Azazel the head Pious guy the rest of his seemingly limitless goons die. Then we have a lively discussion over whether we free the evil goddess trapped in here or not. We decide not, and have a big gold Ark of the Covenant box, some mystic tome, and three big ass jewels to show for it. But getting out isn’t as easy as it sounds… We’ll cover that next time!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twenty-second Session

Twenty-second Session – The party braves Bat Country to go to the Goblin Spires which turn out to be the entry point to the Temple of the Carnifex.

We find a nice little monastery (with carved trees like Aladzha Monastery, you should go visit it if you’re in eastern Bulgaria!) that distracts us with tales of a nearby goblin tribe living in a stone spire.

Unseen by all, a shadowy presence at the end of the table takes sudden, bloodthirsty interest. Gallfred Weasel is always eager to slaughter the goblin races.

So we go there; we thought it was a distraction from our search for the Temple of Carnifex but it turned out to be the antechamber to the place, and suddenly we are in DCC Jewels of the Carnifex.

My favorite part was Hemp finding a starving shocker lizard that he adopts to nurse back to health. I name it “Zipzap.” Once that’s done (after we leave the dungeon, not this session):

Zipzap the shocker lizard
Lizard, shocker: Init +2; Atk bite +1 melee (1d4); AC 14; HD 2d8; hp 4; MV 40’ or climb 20’; Act 1d20; SA electrical shock 1d8, Ref save DC 12 for half; SV Fort +2, Ref +3, Will -2; AL N.

Rest of the session’s pretty self explanatory dungeoneering, read all about it in the summary!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twenty-first Session

Twenty-first Session – We brave both Law and oxen as well as ourselves to go get the fabled Helm of Chistu for Podrick!

After the Celebration of Temptation’s Embrace we have brunch and decide on next steps. One of the great things about DCC is we all have quests we want to go on to get specific superpowers. But it does founder a little upon the shores of irregular attendance. Mordecai wanted to go to the Temple of the Carnifex, but he’s not here, so we instead head for the Rusting Hills where the (tainted) Helm of Chistu is.

The Helm is a big deal, we’ve heard rumors about it from like the second or third session of the game, getting it, untainting it, and using it is one of the core plot arcs of the whole campaign. Spoiler alert.

So we end up going to a super duper Lawful dungeon, which no one but Podrick is really comfortable with. We meet a giant like Babe the Blue Ox-style ox named “Taurziel, First Born of Oxen, Guardian of the Cataphract, Bound to Remain” which now allows me to google for the adventure and discover that we were in DCC , Intrigue at the Court of Chaos.

The dungeon is mostly puzzles and choosing the right colors and whatnot. We mostly guess right on how to solve them, at least enough that we don’t lose major body parts. There is a “Sacrifice” area that demands we give up class abilities and stuff which was a bummer, but it turns out we get them back at the end of the adventure.

Then we have to fight mirror versions of the party. Hemp knows what’s up and shoots Mordecai (who showed up partway through the session) immediately in the head, he’s a wizard so the greatest threat and has notably low hit points.

OOC moment: We had been making “evil wizard” comments about Mordecai trying to kill all the Snuggoo cultists back in Fythorp he didn’t like and now my targeting his shadow double caused some amount of IRL interpersonal hard feelings, unfortunately. We tried to settle it out and move on.

We come away with the Helm (which being a Chaos-tainted Lawful artifact is unusable as of yet) and exit stage left!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Twentieth Session

Twentieth Session – The long awaited festival of Temptation’s Embrace gets underway but our attempt to be helpful and enable two hot lesbians to make out runs afoul of the gods, as it sometimes does.

But first we’re called down by the mayor to investigate a bunch of murders in the cult of Snuggoo in the salt mines. We go investigate and determine that, unsurprisingly, our party member Mordecai is the culprit. We also hear about an ‘always awake wizard named Mosh Sedation’ in the caverns but decide that we should leave well enough alone so we have our full capabilities for the springtime sex festival tonight!

Everyone gears up with beaver hunting, good dinners, and the like. Hemp discovered that the priestess of Jopha (Sybbyl) and the blind daughter of the Mayor (Julia) are having a relationship and if the former can catch the latter during the Festival of Temptation’s Embrace, the latter has agreed to join the former’s temple. And make out intensely, one can only assume. This inspires Hemp to volunteer to be the Marshal for the festival, and he still has his “Sex Marshal” sash in his inventory to this day.

Aphiel holy symbol (silver, 25 gp)
Aphiel flaming wings sword token (50 gp)
sex marshal sash
a gold death’s-head ring once worn by Carnifex assassins (5 gp)

The festival proceeds, half of the PCs madly fleeing from romantic entanglements and the other half madly pursuing them.

Well, so Hemp ensures the two women cross paths during the festival but this apparently annoys the patron goddess Camue the Enchanter so a super weird adventure ensues, with Sybbl’s heart turning into a stuffed bear and quest to find chocolate and pink flowers down a Tunnel of Love.

Apparently we have wandered into the “Love in the Age of Gongfarmers” Valentine’s Day module. Well, my IRL wedding anniversary with my ex-wife is on Valentine’s Day so I know plenty about having that day ruined – we must save the lesbians!!!

Read along for the blow-by-blow, it’s pretty wacky. Having a dwarf along (Julia) that can smell precious metals helped a lot. It gets as violent as you would expect Valentine’s Day to be (hint: very). It ends up with Old Man Fish and Hemp doing a weird mix of ER-style CPR and magical bullshit to revive Sybbyl while the rest of the party fights off cherubs and a crazy chimera type creature.

But in the end, love is saved! I enjoyed this one, Hemp put in “maximum effort!”

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Nineteenth Session

Goblin Fight At Last!

Nineteenth Session – The party heads back to Fythorp to recuperate and gather questlines.

But first on the way back to town, we finally encounter some goblins. Gallfred Weasel (Bruce’s character) got a magic sword that can be thrown at goblins and we have not met a single goblin in all 18 previous sessions which drives him absolutely bananas. They are leading some enslaved pilgrims but they could be handing out toys to orphans for all it matters, their fate was sealed when they entered our zip code.

Gallfred gets a quest from poisoner monks to root through some island dungeon. Sadly our travels and later campaign events have him not turning in that quest until a calendar year later.

Also, Podrick, Old Man Fish, and Mordecai go to collect giant beavers whose musk is used in the weird midsummer “Temptation’s Embrace” festival in town. We meet a pirate shanty singer named Charmeine – who, spoiler alert, we have to kill in banshee form about a year later. Alas. I woulda tipped her more had I known.

We also discover the salt mines have a weird demon cult in them to “Snuggoo.” They mainly take drugs and sleep. Hemp and Gallfred visit to get some vision-dream-inducing lamprey milk and we decide they’re mostly harmless. Mordecai gets a giant hard on against them for no reason we can figure out. He tries to get us to kill them, he tries to sneak in to kill them himselve, he tries to get the mayor to kill them, he tries to get Lady Skeam to kill them… Everyone else is like “eh.” This leaves him pretty irritated.

The milk does let Hemp and Morgan dream – he gets a quest from Aphiel to go mess with some guy named Glipkerio and then they have hot dream sex. (Hemp and Morgan, not Hemp and Aphiel, though I’m not saying that’s not on the table).

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Eighteenth Session

Fighting Headless Women and Womenless Heads

Eighteenth Session – We investigate the Black Manse and our new personas.

There are a lot of tapestries in here, which causes Hemp to cry out “Behind the arras! A rat, a rat!” way too many times for the rest of the party members. Some contain clues as to what’s going on, some “a chick thwarted Mammon and it went as well as you’d expect” kind of thing.

We have a lively fight with three undead women whose heads fly around and try to attach themselves to party members’ spines. Like most aunties they are tougher than they look and we come out of it with some pretty good wounds to show for our trouble.

We then find a super trapped sarcophagus that clearly holds Mammon’s would-be bride, “a corpse wrapped in linen and sealed with eleven lead bands, each stamped with a separate holy symbol. The body lies upon a bed of salt.” We figure we should totally interact with it. Before you know it spectral revelers and wedding parties are in full swing in the manor.

Creepy ghosts and skeletons and supernatural shit ensues. Luckily glowering at it using our golden Leddy family masks and/or smartly messing with little occult puzzles makes it mostly nonviolent going. Hemp even gets a hand of glory out of the deal.

DCC82 Bride of the Black Manse cover

Well, finally we get to Mammon and a wedding. He doesn’t want to marry the corpse (pickier than most demons I know) so Hemp is impressed into service and is told he has to put on the wedding ring. It has all kinds of tasty powers.

Well, that’s a tempting dilemma. But Hemp the Weaver is not ready to become a devil’s booty buddy so he tricks Mammon with the classic “fake hand trick” by sticking the hand of glory out of his sleeve. When the ring goes on and he lets it drop, all hell breaks loose and we barely escape demonic bridesmaids (you know, like Kristen Wiig and Melissa McCarthy) as the whole house gets dragged to Hell.

The characters flee right ahead of the fireball, Michael Bay style.
[…]
In the background, the Black Manse collapses into a pile of foully burned ash.
Hemp slaps Gallfred on the back, “Nice place you got there!”

Actually it was “Nice place you got here, lots of space!” because I always look for any opportunity to use a quote from the Joker, and had indeed used it at least twice while we were rummaging through the place to get Gallfred’s goat.

Some research indicates this was DCC82 “Bride of the Black Manse!” (Paul never tells us, now only as I’m posting these am I Googling likely terms like “DCC Black Manse” to figure out what we played through).

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Seventeenth Session

Fythorp (Pythorp?)

Seventeenth Session – This session is way more civilized. There’s brunch! Tales of local drug use and a Frisky Beaver Festival! We eventually ruin it by going to a haunted house.

I totally cheated by missing last game to tour Japan as last session sucked and now we get to hang out in an actual town inhabited by reasonably normal people. We meet NPCs! Have role-playing moments! Nice.

Then we go to scout the Black Manse that Gallfred stands to inherit. It looks shitty. We come across a minotaur vs lizard man fight that we take sides in for no good reason.

Mordecai meets some morbidly obese witch like that one vampire from Blade and agrees to be her agent. Morgan is acting extra crezzy, but is more willing to go on dates with Hemp, so, fair enough.

We head back to the manse for some proper dungeoning. We have a Scooby Doo bat swarm ‘they’re in my hair’ moment. Then a creepy seneschal out front refers to us by alternate names, which we immediately adopt as our legal names.

Unfortunately I (Hemp) as “Mistress Ursula” is first up, as a moat-goo-troll known as the Gruesome Lover approaches me ardently as we cross the bridge to the front door, apparently “my” lover Lord Tremaine, from back in the day. He drags me into the moat while his undead goons fight the rest of the party.

We vanquish them after some time and find a chest with a gold lion mask that is aligned with my… fursona, I guess. I put it on and do the sexy walk across the bridge to the manor house!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Sixteenth Session

Leddy Manor

Sixteenth Session – The party pierces the heart of the dungeon… Then drags through its entrails… Then the horrors of wandering the wilderness… Fun?

I was in Japan and missed this session. Which seems like it was for the best, as this was a grind.

We were almost at the end of the dungeon – one Guano Mound away from finding some Blade style bleeding coffins and our MacGuffin.

But, for every DCC dungeon that is a load-bearing dungeon and immediately collapses at its end (usually requiring ridiculously high rolls to escape), there is a “you have to grind your way back out” dungeon and this is one of the latter. So, they get to partially or wholly replicate all the previous fights. Across the bridges… Up the stairs… Getting barfed on by Manx cats…

Then traveling through the woods, getting sick, stung by insects… A generally horrid time. But finally they get back to the Emerald Enchanter’s place and rest, and Ned gets a tiny quasit familiar, which he then proceeds to forget about pretty much constantly in subsequent sessions.

Then back on the road to be murdered by wolves. Life of the low level is brutal and short. My would-be squeeze Morgan nearly buys the farm but manages to pull through.

Finally in Pythorp, the party relaxes and then finds out that Gallfred Weasel is the last remaining Leddy relative that can claim a jacked up manor house outside of town, the Black Manse. It looks forbidding. Perfect!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – Fifteenth Session

The Emerald Enchanter's tower

Fifteenth Session – The Wizard of Oz sends us to a dungeon full of barfing cats. Film at 11!

After we extract from the Yoda hole where we slew the Hound of Hirot, Morgan is better! Well, mostly, she’s not in a coma any more but her eyes are washed out and she’s interested in wizardry.

We then move to one of Ned’s quests, and head to the Tower of the Emerald Enchanter – a namedrop from DCC69 The Emerald Enchanter, but I don’t think the adventure is from there because we don’t fight him, we cozy up to him to get a quest so Ned can get a familiar. As he’s an evil wizard and we have two evil wizards in our party, everyone gets along famously.

He sends us to the “Vault of Necros the Grotesque” to get a box. Which must be doused in Lawful blood, but he doesn’t share that with anyone but Ned. So off we go!

After some random encounters on the trail (as usual, no goblins, which is driving Gallfred Weasel and his goblin-killing magic sword insane), we go down into a cave that has an infinite staircase going down. Awesome.

tirgrefrabs, aka barf tigers

The first enemy we encounter says a lot about the adventure author’s home life – hairless vomiting cats named “tirgefrabs” which Tim immediately understands is “barf tiger” lightly scrambled. They do indeed barf on us, which is terrifyingly effective (-2 STR and -3 STA for Gallfred! Holy crap!)

We finally manage to kill them. The stairs are indeed semi infinite, we go down them for an entire day and have to camp. Next day – more tirgefrabs. At least we see these ahead of time, though they beeline to Gallfred and vomit in his mount.

As “tirgefrab” is pretty good as a Google search term goes, I’m happy to report this adventure, Elzemon and the Blood-Drinking Box, is from the DCC Free RPG Day 2014 product.

Anyway, we make it to the bottom and there’s a guano mound surrounded by sulfurous vats and a bunch of weird stuff; an invisible quasit nearly knocks Gallfred to his death. It becomes visible briefly when it does, and Ned’s magic missiles (50% change to mutate him unfortunately, 50% chance to absolutely murderize their target) take care of it.