Dungeon Crawl Classics – Second Session

Second Session – Our new first level party goes from Weebrook to an unnamed ville that is all about a fire god. Naturally, they get attacked by a flying iceberg, which has a bunch of “tontuu” aboard, which if you guessed are humanoid tauntauns, you’d be right! Except they steal child souls instead of keeping you warm on a chilly Hoth night.

Sadly I wasn’t here for this game, so can’t report on how the rest of the guys felt about their first level one escapades in DCC. But, they survived, which is good in DCC! And the power of animal summoning is introduced – when individuals aren’t that bad ass and get one attack, the abilty to soak attacks, position, and add actions to the action economy is nice.

You can tell from the early part of the session that much of the character development is quest-based. Old Man Fish the ranger wants to get some clerical healing? OK, go do an adventure that’ll get you that! Very different from the entitlement-based powerups of modern D&D.

Here’s the flying iceberg map – classic DCC, they like their maps being both sketchy and not 3d-realistic, but also works of art!

Dungeon Crawl Classics – First Session

First Session – We start with a brace of level 0 characters each, and giant ants attack a wedding and eat half of them! We end up with a set of surviving level 1 characters – Bruce plays Gallfred Weasel the guild beggar (thief), Tim plays Ned Wimbly the beekeeper (wizard), Chris plays Old Man Fish the locksmith (thief), Patrick plays Podrick the squire (warrior), Matt plays Mordecai the gravedigger (wizard), and I play Hemp the weaver (warrior).

One of the cool things about DCC is you start with randomly generated level zero characters – in other words, normal yokels – and they go through an adventure where they get winnowed down to the survivors you pick your actual character from!

First, we generated 4 random characters each using the super helpful Purple Sorcerer DCC character generation online tool and picked three to put into “the funnel.”

Here’s my four! A jester, a dwarven chest-maker, a miller-baker, and a weaver. Yes, they’re all kind of trash – you don’t get high stats in DCC, you get 3d6 down the line! I pick Happy the Jester, Hot Pie the Baker, and Hemp the Weaver as a personality of 3 does *not* suit my playstyle.

We start the game with three zero level characters for each of us at a wedding that goes bad quickly. Hot Pie gets decapitated by a giant ant in the very first combat. I start to favor the jester, as he has no ability penalties and is a great justification to tell jokes all the time.

Happy asks, “What do you get when you have a room full of dwarfish cheerleaders?”
Nobody knows.
“A full set of teeth!”
The dwarfs do not laugh.
Happy explains, “When you’re dealing with dwarfs, the jokes just write themselves!”

We go to a haunted winery, where both of my PCs end up surviving. I decide to go to level 1 with choosing Hemp the Weaver as an archer type, mainly because Bruce really really really wants to be the party thief with Gallfred Weasel, and I’m a team player. Not enough of a team player to decide to play a cleric, but then again apparently none of us are. OLD SCHOOL!!!

We all had fun. The game system is super easy. You don’t succeed at stuff nearly as much as modern D&D since you kinda suck and have low stats, but you get to try anything and don’t get told “oh there’s no rules for that you can’t do it,” so you are more effective overall if you use your brain, which is frankly how it should be.

Dungeon Crawl Classics – World of Iriolus Campaign

We’re lucky enough to have a gaming group that meets weekly; while on alternating weeks I run my Reavers Pathfinder campaign, fellow GM Paul has started a Dungeon Crawl Classics (or “DCC,” for those in the know) campaign in his homebrew World of Iriolus!

Check out the map he made with Campaign Cartographer!

For those of you not familiar with DCC (by Goodman Games), it’s an old school renaissance (OSR) game, which is code for “like old style Dungeons & Dragons, not this newfangled super complicated stuff from Y2K on”.

There are many OSR games, but DCC in particular has a weird flair to it, with a little bit of “airbrushed van art” look and a Warhammer “beware the forces of Chaos and magic will melt your face eventually” conceit. And, they’ve published rafts of adventures for it – like old school D&D, it’s not about book after book of new character options, it’s about book after book of adventures, which all have weird stuff that can be used to mutate your character in an in game way.

I’ll put the session summaries on the World of Iriolus page and blog them up in more detail as usual!

WWII RPG Kickstarter

I don’t usually pass on Kickstarter news but I ran across this one from this Limithron blog post and while this company, Firelock Games, does lots of pirate-era mini games they have a Year Zero engine WWII RPG called War Stories, there’s a kickstarter for the Pacific books right now, and here’s an actual play and a RPG.net review.

WWII RPGs are oddly rare, I have copies of old ones like Behind Enemy Lines, and of course GURPS has everything, and then you get your weird combos like Weird Wars, Achting! Cthulhu, or Godlike – but except for very focused indie games like Night Witches and Grey Ranks you don’t see it much any more, so it’s cool to see a squad focused modern RPG system in the genre!

So if you obsessively watch Band of Brothers, The Pacific, Saving Private Ryan, etc., here’s a great way to roleplay in that setting!

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Ninth Session

Ninth Session (6 page pdf) – “The Gnoll Cartel” – To get proof of their crewman’s innocence, the crew pursues drug dealers back to the lair of their boss and his menagerie.

This is a pretty focused session – the PCs ambush some drug smugglers who also have a captive – who turns out to be the famous pirate Falken Drango, who busts loose and helps them! Entertainingly, the session almost completely omits his sad story to them about how his crew and ship, the Nightslink, are missing and he needs help to reclaim them. But, they like him and partner up with him, which is good.

The drug smugglers were an encounter from the Razor Coast book (The Midnight Deal) but I added Drango so the PCs would have another chance to meet him.

They track back to the gnoll smuggler Bonegnaw’s cove where his ship, the Dragon’s Tail, berths. He smuggles in both drugs and exotic monsters. That makes for a lively and very dangerous fight full of chimeras and cockatrices and chuuls and girallons. And many of the monsters don’t differentiate between smugglers and PCs in terms of murder opportunities.

After an orgy of violence, they capture Bonegnaw!

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Eighth Session

Eighth Session (13 page pdf) – “Back To The Sewers” – Among other shenanigans, the crew heads back down into Port Shaw’s sewers to find a bard’s corpse at his postmortem request.

The plot threads come quickly. Dragonsmoke pushers are working for Bonegnaw who is also the chimera smuggler that burned down the warehouse! They need to go back into the sewers to set a bard’s corpse to rest to find Garr Bloodbane’s treasure! More Salty Dog dock gang issues! New NPCs a’poppin’!

The love of treasure wins out and they go back to the sewers with Cap’n Lester, where they make friendly contact with a crab-man and unfriendly contact with gator-men. Oh, fantasy RPG racism, when will you let us live in peace?!?

Anyway, they find the dead bard and emerge from the sewers with a bunch of skulls from people the gator-men have killed. The locals and Dragoons are just happy it’s not all child corpses this time.

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Seventh Session

Seventh Session (7 page pdf) – “Arson, She Wrote” – As usual, while our PCs have been off adventuring, their crew has gotten into various forms of trouble. Their Nidalese fisherwoman Arsonee has been arrested for being close to the scene of an arson, and… Her name is “Arsonee.”  Open and shut case!

One of the fun parts of the PCs having an entire crew of pirates is that when they leave them alone, they don’t just peaceably swab decks on the ship, they go ashore and get into pirate style trouble. I put entire charts together to randomly determine it.

There’s some other minor problems but the biggest one is that Arsonee, the fisherwoman they picked up from Nidal (the shadow torture country), got arrested for arson, largely based on being near a burning warehouse and having the name “Arsony.” “I mean, we’d get busted down to private for *not* arresting her,” reasoned the Dragoon responders.

Naturally, they immediately take her to the torturer to elicit a confession, in standard fantasy (?) cop procedure. Being from Nidal where recreational torture is an art form, it’s getting them nowhere. The PCs are on good terms with the Dragoons mainly via making friends with Sergeant Darenar, so they go get them to chill out on the torture while they investigate, and as a bonus take crazed fisherman Harok McFarrow who saw his family eaten by weresharks and was then blamed for the crime to Father Zalen to see if he can cure his insanity, but he’s “only” a ninth level cleric.

Zalen explains he doesn’t have the magics personally to heal peoples’ minds. And the local asylums have been closed down by the city council.

Some discussion ensued about “Oh, just like Ronald Reagan!” which should have been a tip to them about who the bad guy is…

But anyway, Arsonee tells them a weird story about a chimera inside the warehouse and the prostitutes starting to set up the new brothel they’re establishing provide some leads as well. The PC crime wave in Port Shaw is well underway!

Sinners Vampire Powers

I saw the hit movie Sinners last night and it was awesome! Like From Dusk Till Dawn but, frankly, better. The first musical sequence was one of the most successful “mix real world and dreamtime/spirit world” sequences ever made.

But this isn’t a movie review, it’s taking a hot new vampire power for your Pathfinder or Dungeons & Dragons game!

So the Irish vampire lord slash… demon? Remmick (expertly played by Jack O’Connell) had the ability to know everything his new vampire thralls knew in life. I’m not talking about that, though that’d be fine – but there seems to be a somewhat similar but way more limited effect on the newly made vampire spawn. They don’t appear to know everything the master does or have a hivemind, but they all appear to specifically inherit his Irish singing and dancing abilities. (Unless he just happened upon two crackers who were pro musicians to kill by pure chance.) In fact, you could perhaps frame it as the master is able to pass one of his skills down to his spawn.

I realized that this is the key to a lot of vampire group creation in D&D type games and is a brilliant idea. Because in general adventure creators always want to put together a bunch of similar vampires. A vampire band! A vampire ninja clan! A vampire monastery! A vampire Wall Street firm!

And currently adventure writers get that by:

  • In the lore, the vampire spends a super long time assessing candidates and only vamps ones with the desired skills. Very rare.
  • In the lore, the vampire came across an existing group of semi identical folks and vamped them. Fairly common.
  • Cheat and just say “whatever, all these vampires have Stealth +12 even though they were just random villagers because I need it for the plot, man.” Most common.

But, a small, thematic, and frankly just practical addition to the vampire’s Create Spawn power could just be “the master can bestow [one of his skills/his highest level skill] upon a spawn.”

In the world of super complicated PF2e type rulesets I’m sure that’s abusable, so you could add some level cap or something, “they become proficient in the skill and gain max ranks available at their character level.” Maybe the vampire has to just pick one skill forever, or maybe it’s locked to whatever their highest ranked skill was when they became a vampire. “Well, I guess we need Profession: stringed instrument based attack plans boys, that’s what I was good at in life!”

Create Spawn (Su)

A vampire can create spawn out of those it slays with blood drain or energy drain, provided that the slain creature is of the same creature type as the vampire’s base creature type. The victim rises from death as a vampire in 1d4 days. This vampire is under the command of the vampire that created it, and remains enslaved until its master’s destruction. A vampire may have enslaved spawn totaling no more than twice its own Hit Dice; any spawn it creates that would exceed this limit become free-willed undead. A vampire may free an enslaved spawn in order to enslave a new spawn, but once freed, a vampire or vampire spawn cannot be enslaved again.

A vampire created in this way inherits the master’s highest ranked skill, becoming proficient in it as a class skill and gaining ranks in the skill equal to its character level.

What do you think?

Heck you could add it as an option. Since his vampire spawn were getting up in minutes not days, clearly he had “Improved Create Spawn” where if you make spawn they are up in 1d4 minutes not 1d4 days and get one of your key skills.

You could make any of this work on vampires and not vampire spawn or vice versa (in Pathfinder these are different, vampire spawn aren’t a template they’re just like “ghouls” in other-vampire-fiction parlance, and a vampire can choose to make new full vampires or just vampire spawn).

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Sixth Session

Sixth Session (8 page pdf) – “The Roach King” – Disappearing children lead the crew down into the sewers of Port Shaw, where they make various disgusting and gruesome discoveries.

Trigger warning – violence against children. Well, and bugs and slime and stuff but mainly the kids.

There’s a whole section in Razor Coast about Port Shaw’s sewers, which is are a little weirdly sophisticated for a little colonial town, but whatever. They go in with the halfing sewer pirate captain and poke around. I don’t want to spend too much time in the sewers so get them to fun encounter locations quickly. They fight sahuagin! They fight skum! They find the Jawbone of Kaho Ali’i, which is a scrimshaw relic super important to the local Tulita tribe, which they don’t know will be super important later, but it will be.

They fight a quasit and dretches! They need to retreat… But then hear a crying child. They go save her from the Roach King! Which is a big ass (9′ tall, >100hp) roach mutated from an ogre by toxic magical runoff that controls roach swarms. And every Pathfinder player knows that swarms are the most dangerous thing in the game.

After a hard fight they kill it and find, unfortunately, a large number of child corpses from local kids it’s been snatching and bringing down here, “Stephen King’s It” style. The PCs are pirates but not monsters, they want to retrieve the bodies – but the problem is, they’re down here illegally. There being no Erin Brockovich in fantasy Golarion to address the legal side of fatal toxic runoff related problems, this instead generates a side quest to go get a forged set of papers, which all goes well and lets them meet more local power players. Bodies recovered and turned over to authorities and grieving families. Not really a victory to feel all that good about, but… something.

Then Sindawe finds out their crewmember and suspected serial killer Slasher Jim is at it again.

Sindawe is also shown by Serpent that one of the “head” barrels contains the corpse of an attractive young woman that he hears was put there by Slasher Jim. Sindawe concludes this is like the twentieth most pressing thing in his life.

On the one hand, serial killer. On the other hand, it is right next to the barrels they keep the pickled heads of their enemies in (for speak with dead and light entertainment purposes, mainly), and he’s a solid crewmember, and it’s been a long day. Sindawe just tucks it down into his feelings lockbox and goes about his business.

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Fifth Session

Fifth Session (12 page pdf) – “Shadow Conspiracy” – The night gets longer as they have to dispose of a body. Finally they check in at their ship and split time between planning to fund a brothel and searching down leads related to their phantom attacker, which sends them from the church to a bar to a sewer.

And then guess what the fourth shark took?!?

The party struggles on, having been awake for several days at this point. Every time they think about turning in some new demented entertainment is offered up by Port Shaw. They go to dispose of the phantom/businessman’s mortal remains at a local inn that offers that as a value add service, And, of course, drink and gamble some more. Even when they get back to the ship, they take some reports before finally turning in…

But Serpent’s family has moved out (he forgot that this was the plan, to be honest) and Sindawe’s captain’s quarters are occupied by Lefty and a local girl. A rough night on an improvised pallet for both of them then!

They then split their time between investigating phantom sightings and arranging to own a proper brothel that their four new prostitute besties can set up in. Since Lavender Lil was a proper (?) brothel prostitute back in Riddleport they put her in charge, which is a great idea except for the fact she and all the other women immediately decided they hated each other on sight.

I generally roll informal reaction checks whenever people meet each other to see how well they get along. Years ago the group was entertained by Samaritha and Ameiko Kaijutsu of Sandpoint (the latter eventually travelling to Tian Xia and being the empress apparent in the Jade Regent adventure path) both rolling nat 1’s when meeting each other, causing them to fall into that inexplicable state of implacably cold hate that only women just meeting each other can immediately muster. Well, many years later it happened again, so the rowdy whores are quite a handful and it’ll take a while to get to some equilibrium on that (more to come!).

And finally, they find a sad native girl who indicates that the “Roach King” took one of her friends into the sewers to be eaten. The sewers are suspiciously locked and guarded by Dragoons. This is their cue to find Capt’n Lester Farrows, a swamp pirate (no really) and his raft to venture therein!

Reavers on the Seas of Fate, Season Seven, Fourth Session

Fourth Session (9 page pdf) – “Fight Club Raids and Noose Races” – The crew isn’t done with having fun yet, so they continue to cut a swath across Port Shaw. A Dragoon raid and an infamous pirate cause an early end to the fight club for the evening, so they go find the “Noose Races” they have heard so much about.  But after a Conan-esque night of debauchery, an old threat appears.

Anyone who refers to time an adventuring party spends in a city as “downtime”, give yourself a big ol’ wedgie and then read on.

Last session went great so I took a chance. In the Razor Coast book there’s a very “Captain Jack Sparrow” type of infamous pirate named Falken Drango. However, I know that Chris (Sindawe’s player) hates Captain Jack Sparrow.

So how do I introduce him without triggering that? I mean, he’s not plot critical, but I wanted to use him as a recurring NPC to introduce them to the local piracy scene, so I wanted to do something where they wouldn’t kill him/avoid him. So instead I had him be in disguise and be Sindawe’s first foe in the Broken Skull fight club ring!

Some background – Sindawe decided he really, really hated a Riddleport NPC called the Splithog Pauper who was always in disguise. They were “frenemies” sometimes on the same side, sometimes opposing, like every character in Sons of Anarchy. The last time they saw him was in 2011 and left it like this:

“Our heroes fail to lure the Splithog Pauper to his death behind the building; he makes a “I am keeping my eyes on you” gesture which is reciprocated with “I am going to kill you” gestures.”

For whatever reason he has become Sindawe’s greatest nemesis (in Sindawe’s mind) and so when the fighter was in disguise he was convinced it must be the Splithog Pauper. When it wasn’t, he was so relieved – and then the Dragoons went after him – and the relief plus their normal “fuck the police” sentiment meant they helped him escape!

As they wandered the active night streets of the Bawd District after that, eating lizards on a stick or whatever, they are clearly ready for more hijinks so it’s time for the noose races!!!

What’s a noose race? Beats the shit out of me, but it’s mentioned in the Bawd District writeup in the Razor Coast book and then never after:

The low-burning, smoky tar lanterns of Bawd call sailors and other visitors to her dark twisting alleys and dock-ways, luring them to experiment with exotic and far-ranging narcotics, to lose their shirts (and occasionally their teeth) at gambling dens, to enjoy Port Shaw’s infamous houses of ill repute and to attend her myriad entertainments: performances from the Speckled Eyes snake charmer’s guild, baboon fights, gourd-gazing seers, legendary scorpion baths, noose races and other wild spectacles.

I had read this to the players at some point and the noose races captured their fancy, so I worked them up as a minigame. They give you a swig of arsenic, tighten a noose around your neck so you can’t breathe, and then loose a greased naked Keleshite you have to catch. As there are no other rules, violence between the runners is encouraged. Used our custom chase rules plus the normal Pathfinder “holding breath” rules and losing 1 “breath” per action.

As this is a pirate campaign, they were way into it, and emerge victorious after a hilarious action sequence romp through the nighttime crowds of the Bawd District.

And then they meet up with their new favorite quartet of hookers from last time, Ophelia, Molly, Feather, and Joy. They had them set up a meeting with a local businessman and john of Joy’s that was looking to join the Lodge, the local ruling council. You need their approval to buy businesses and stuff, so from an organized crime point of view they figure he’s a good guy to talk to.

So they meet their friends in the bar, in comes Joy and the businessman – and cyper glyphs burn. He’s a phantom!!! A sudden, brutal fight breaks out.

This was sobering (in and out of game), they hadn’t come across phantoms in Port Shaw yet. So after all the hilarity it was like throwing a bucket of cold water on them at the end of the session! I love GMing. Definitely wound them up for the next game.

Why I Don’t Like Pathfinder 2E

I got it when it came out, I tried it… I didn’t like it. Or at least, I didn’t see any improvement that would cause me to re-buy my thousands of dollars in PF1e gear (I was a superscriber from day 1). “The same, but different” didn’t keep my wallet opened up.

I tried picking it up again lately. I still like their adventures and Golarion content and would use the newer stuff if I could (lore books – kinda can, APs – kinda can’t, at least without 6 man-months of conversion time for each one). I ran across pathbuilder2e and wanderersguide and thought “well hey let me try it with a character generator” and I liked it even less, but I think I understand why now.

It reminded me of the experience I had with the Spycraft game from the 3e era. Spycraft was fun! D&D rules for James Bond stuff! Spycraft 2e came out! I hated it!

The newer version wasn’t even that different – it was that the new implementation of the rules was just… charmless. Everything was a technical term that was a reference to 3 other technical terms and so on.

And that’s my problem with PF2e. No hate if it speaks to you. But when I read through it and it’s all keywords and jargon – and sure, any RPG has some of that, but there are many levels of fiddly – it leaves me completely cold. It’s the difference between a book that teaches you physics in an accessible way (Hi, Isaac Asimov!) and a textbook.

And if the “keyword” approach actually brought brevity to the rules, turned the PHB into 96 pages… ok maybe… But no, just like Spycraft 2e, PF2e is giant. Those ‘simple’ keyword bones actually become more complex when there’s too many of them.

I prefer having a tool to run high level PF1e… But I can’t imagine running any level PF2e without it.

Want a character with these 3 skills? Oh sorry you can’t just choose skills, you have to pick an ancestry that gives you one and a background or whatever they call it that gives you another and then a class and a heritage and and…

Stats? Can’t just roll or buy them, no no, you need to cobble together ancestry boosts and background boosts and class boosts and free boosts…

I stuck through it until I tried to get equipment and then the keyword slush just overwhelmed me. Then “special action icons” time came and I was out, I hated that in D&D 4e and I hate it now.

Every Archives of Nethys page gives me a headache. Everything is so goddamn long. Picking a random monster… Chimera! 3.5e: 391 words. PF1e on Nethys: 537 words. PF2e on Nethys: 1192 words. Fuuuuck me. I mean, I get it has more options and stuff. But… do I need that? Do I need 1000 words on every single one of 1000 monsters? This is why people are giving up and training LLMs instead of trying to keep up with the diarrhea of content in every field.

I am sure I could figure it out if I stuck to it. But it’s just not… Fun. I’m not sure why I should.

Most of the arguments I see about why to (besides “3 actions in a round, woo”) are “well if your friends do” or “well if the only tables around are” or “if you want to buy stuff now you have to” but these are all just like the reasons to go cow tipping and get pregnant early from my youth.

It makes me sad, because with PF2.5e (whatever they call it- “Remastered?”) out, I feel like I’ve lost my chance to get back on board. By all accounts it’s even more “like that” than 2e and now bunches of 2e things are incompatible. I like the sound of their new Azlanti islands AP coming out but I fear trying to convert it back to 1e. “You missed that there were TWO DOTS next to the person’s name that means they have SOMETHING SOMETHING!!!” Without being an expert in it, it’s inaccessible.

I’m playing DCC now, and most of the OSR stuff has too *little* rules texture and options for me compared to 2e/3e times. But if my only other options are BehemothLand, what’s someone who wants moderate crunch to do?!?