Category Archives: reviews

RPG Movie Review: The Wild Hunt

I was bored and looking through Netflix for something to watch, and it recommended to me The Wild Hunt – an independent movie where Canadian LARPers go a little mental. It had won a couple film festival awards, so I figured what the heck.

The setup is that Erik, an Icelander in Canada, heads out to a big ol’ LARP weekend in the woods to try to get his worthless girlfriend back. He’s not a LARPer but his brother is really big into it; Viking heritage, Norse sagas, the whole bit. The whole batch of LARPers are very, very, very serious about it – it almost converts over into cool, actually. You have other movies like Role Models where the people are into LARP but it’s still very cheesy and you’re like “whatever, diversity yay, ponce around all you want,’there’s nothing wrong with that’, but eek.” But here they are all so into it and put a lot of work into it – if you can make LARP seem cool, this movie comes closest to doing it.

It’s a pretty interesting  movie. It starts out weak mainly because of the unsympathetic main characters – Erik is a certifiable wuss, his girlfriend is a bitchy whore, and the initial crop of LARPers you meet are reasonably insane – but evens out its keel once you get to know more of the (better, and more interesting, frankly) secondary characters and they quicken the pace. It’s a low budget thriller set in an isolated setting where romantic hassles etc. end up cascading into Lord of the Flies. The ending is a lot more dark and brutal than I would have expected from the first act. About a third of the way through, I wasn’t sold and wondered if I should bail, but after seeing the whole thing I’d give it a 5/10, decent.

Of course some roleplayers are worried that this will “demonize the hobby.”  To that I say bah, many of the movies/TV shows with killers, they are doctors and lawyers and cops and moviemakers and other such. It should just be a rush to see your own niche thing breeding killers for a change. And it’s not like anyone will actually be afraid of this happening for real; they’re Canadians for God’s sake.  Everyone knows Canadians can’t kill anyone; they don’t have the constitution for it. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

Alternity Book Report: Zero Point

My third Alternity novel set in the Star*Drive universe is Zero Point, but Richard Baker. It is better written than Gridrunner, the book that preceded it, but it shares a number of unfortunate similarities that aren’t to its benefit.

In Zero Point, bounty hunter Peter Sokolov snatches his mark Geille Monashi to bring back to Pict territory on Penates. But they have to make a blind hyperjump and come across a previously unknown alien ship. They are then caught in a feeding frenzy of those who want to exploit it…

I found this book especially interesting because in our Lighthouse campaign, we have actually met and allied with these aliens, the warlike Medurr (or “draco-centaurs” as we like to call them). They keep all kinds of slave races and have a kind of infinite energy drive (“zero point”) that makes all kinds of brute force tech possible. Also, Sokolov is cybered up and you get to see that at work (clearly using the game rules for it). The novel also reveals a lot more about AIs in the setting than previous novels; Sokolov’s ship has an onboard AI named Peri that is a secondary character. For all the alleged hacking in the previous novel, this one has a lot more rubber-hits-the-road examples of hacking ship computers, AIs, and Sokolov’s onboard nanocomputer.

However, I also found it somewhat tiring because of the relationship between the leads – it was weak in general but was more annoying because it was the exact same dynamic as in Gridrunner.  Powerful man captures skilled woman, falls for her for no good reason, they bang, then they alternately betray and/or bail each other out in turn for the rest of the novel.  It’s a little obnoxious once, and a back-to-back dose of it was doubly so.  I mean, I know that when I abduct women they always fall in love with me, but who else could be so gifted? Plus, Sokolov spends an awful lot of time as a prisoner (like half the novel) – good for character interaction and explication purposes, I guess, but it becomes tiresome.

The book was better written than the previous two, though, and besides the aliens and cyber you get to see a variety of Star*Drive cultures at work – more about Lucullus/Penates, the Union of Sol, megacorps, space pirates… Very helpful for players and GMs of Alternity Star*Drive to get a feel for the setting.

Alternity Book Report: Gridrunner

The second in my stash of Alternity Star*Drive books, Gridrunner, details the exploits of Lazarus, a CIB man (space cop), and his prisoner-cum-love interest Sable. She is of course a misunderstood soul who has been forced into the life of a criminal courier by a bad man who has her brother prisoner.  “Gridrunner” is the Star*Drive term for a decker/cyberspace hacker. They perform various undercover work in Port Royal, on the criminal-run planet of Penates in the Lucullus system. We spent a lot of time there in our campaign dicking with the Jamaican Syndicate and Picts and other colorful characters.

This novel is a mixed bag. It’s reasonably engaging, but in the middle there’s this 50 page long heist/Mission Impossible intrusion sequence that gets really boring.  From a RPG point of view I guess you could mine it for ideas on how to run a scene like that with plenty of technical work and skill checks, but it would still be a bit long for that. The love interest between Lazarus and Sable develops somewhat artificially and is of the “oh I am making career- and/or life-risking decisions because of this broad I met a day ago” type.

The descriptions of Gridrunning are pretty interesting, I can’t help but think “Second Life,” which is fair enough since this was written way before SL came out. It’s a pretty typical Snow Crash kind of setup, with people’s “shadows” in a VR world.

I was a little surprised at the (mild) rape/torture content – I don’t mind it, but usually WotC type stuff is pretty tame. So far between this and Two of Minds the Star*Drive universe is portrayed as pretty darn gritty.

On a personal gaming level, the most interesting part was the description of the Corner, a bar on the space station Lighthouse – my warlion character in our Alternity campaign owns the place.

All in all, this was OK and helped flesh out the milieu (especially Penates, the Lighthouse, and Gridrunning), though the 50 page thievery scene definitely forced me to start skimming for a span.

Alternity Book Report: Two of Minds

I was looking through my bookshelf and realized that I own five, count them, five old Alternity novels!  As I’ve been playing in Paul’s Alternity campaign for more than two years now, I thought it was high time to root them out and read through them!

The first is Two of Minds, by William H. Keith, Jr. The story features Spacer, a tunnel rat living on the crappy Total Recall-esque mining colony of Lison, who wants a bigger life among the stars. A guy he’s conning gets wasted by VoidCorp (evil megacorp) agents and next thing you know he’s joined up with a typical adventuring party and is headed for the planet of Storm to interface with freaky aliens and get shot at by VoidCorp.

It’s decently written, though a couple times I wished the writing “grade level” was a couple higher. The plot keeps on moving and the characters manage to be just a smidge more interesting than they are flat. They have a couple more main characters than the writer can handle well. Although I was entertained by the Rigunmor guy who basically did nothing but occasionally be a jerk until he sacrificed himself to help everyone in the end – mainly because that’s how Bruce’s Rigunmor character in our campaign is.

Really the main point of interest is how Spacer uses a “holotarot” (space tarot) deck his grammama gave him to interpret and predict events, something the fraal (Grey psychic alien) in the group posits is linked to a latent kind of psychic power. I found it inspiring for Pathfinder games as well, where Harrow (fantasy tarot) decks and use thereof play a big part in the world of Golarion.

It’s also pretty good for inspiration for plots about exploring hostile planets and meeting new aliens in a discovery-oriented campaign. The aliens in Two of Minds are very alien and it definitely reveals the setting as being one where there are some pretty cosmic-scale weird things.

The novel does do a pretty good job of establishing a “look and feel” of the Verge, which is helpful for Alternity Star*Drive players. I would call it cinematically gritty – the Schwarzenegger movie Total Recall is probably the best comparison. The book is an average sci-fi popcorn read in general, but to an Alternity player is definitely worth reading.

Pathfinder Tales – Plague of Shadows and Prince of Wolves

In the second in my series of book reports from my vacation in Bulgaria, I thought I’d review the two Pathfinder Tales novels I managed to lay my hands on.  These things must be popular because I’ve been waiting for them to show up at Half Price Books and it’s taken a long time.  (I don’t buy paperbacks at full price…)

I’m a big Pathfinder and world of Golarion fan, so I wanted to see how the novels treat it. I enjoyed them both.  Neither is going to become part of the Western canon or anything, but they were better than, say, every Greyhawk novel ever. (Rose Estes is the worst RPG novel author ever, and Gary Gygax, God love him, isn’t as bad as she is but he isn’t the best either.)

Prince of Wolves, by Dave Gross, covers the adventures of Pathfinder and Chelish nobleman Varian Jeggare and his erstwhile tiefling companion Radovan wandering about in Ustalav.

Plague of Shadows, by Howard Andrew Jones, details the attept by elf-raised-by-humans Elyana to save her old adventuring buddy/lover, the now-married and now-Lord Stefan.

The Good

Prince of Wolves had an interesting conceit, where the chapters alternated being from the perspective of Jeggare and Radovan respectively. They get separated early (well, the book jumps back and forth in timeline a little) and then go about their own solo adventures till they join back up about 2/3 of the way through. In general the action progressed nicely, though there were some repetitive parts. It was well written and engaging in general.

Plague of Shadows was a little weaker in the writing department. I was feeling “meh” about halfway through but then there were some big twists and I was interested through the end. I liked the initial setup where it was an adventuring group that had grown apart and was coming together much later, and not all as friends. I had a 2e campaign that was like that, and it gives a feeling of a lot of rich history.

Both novels used Golarion to good effect.  Plague of Shadows did a lot with Galt and the French Terror-esque revolution there, and Prince of Wolves used the gothic nation of Ustalav and the gypsy-like Sczarni. They illuminated the world nicely.

The Bad

Both of the novels suffered from D&D.  Or from Pathfinder.  Mainly the magic system.  They use the game system’s rules too obviously in their fiction. “Time to rest to regain my spells!” “I don’t have that memorized today!” Suck. And they kinda went that way with the magic items too, though Shadows was a little more clumsy about that than Wolves. The mechanical wonkiness of D&D spells do not good storytelling make – Jack Vance used it but these guys are no Jack Vance. At least these authors don’t do like Gygax does in his Greyhawk novels where his storytelling is dictated by the combat rules too (seriously, Gord got 3 attacks every 2 rounds, and he let you know it), but the D&D magic system – for all its in-game merits – invariably comes off as lame in fiction.

And a small nit – I didn’t like the big Golarion glossary in the back. If your writing doesn’t stand on its own, definitions aren’t going to help you. I think it’s much more interesting to wonder about parenthetical references than have them defined for you – hell, that’s how Lovecraft and Howard and those guys’ prose captured the imagination. I am sure they’re trying to help, but cut that out of future novels please.

Conclusion

Both were better than most gaming fiction. I’d give Wolves 4/5 and Shadows 3/5, maybe. Fans of Golarion will enjoy them because of how they showcase the world, and normal fantasy fans should find them diverting enough. I definitely plan to hunt down the rest (though am not inspired enough to start paying full price for them).

Myth & Magic Playtest Underway

Myth & Magic is a 2e retroclone under development and it’s looking good!

In retrospect, the much maligned 2e was probably, in my opinion, close to the best version of D&D. Shocking claim, I know.  But a lot of the stuff in 0e (race as class?) certainly deserved to die, and 1e was pretty Byzantine. 2e cleaned it up but was still light enough that people could house-rule and “ruling, not rules” reliably. I was really sold on 3e when it came out, and it definitely had some nice bits, but over the years it led to some mighty undesirable things (CharOp, Christmas Tree Syndrome, etc.).  A cleaned-up 2e might just do it for me!

You can download the Myth & Magic Player’s Starter Guide and GameMaster’s Starter Guide for free (forum registration required) now, they’re a playtest covering levels 1-10.

Player’s Starter Guide

It’s not just a slavish reprint of 2e, which is good. They’ve adopted the to-hit bonus and AC ascending from 10 from d20 instead of the less intuitive THAC0.  And they’ve added a seventh stat, Perception.  I think this is just wonderful; I ran with a Perception (and sometimes Luck) stat for most of 2e’s run. In general it’s 2e but cleaned up.

They also add “class talents” which are kinda like feats but scoped down a lot and limited to specific classes. You can spend proficiencies on them. I like some things about that approach, though I worry that powergamers will just take those and not actual NWPs.

There are still some wonky bits I’d like sanded off, like different XP tables per class – that’s just complexity that adds no value.  I don’t require classes be “balanced” but let’s avoid those different-for-the-sake-of-it bits that littered early D&D. If you want thieves to advance X% faster, give them the same XP table and just give them X% more thief skill points a level. Voila, same effect, less complexity.

On the other end, the only modernization I’d remove is the point buy character creation.  That is the gateway to optimized character builds, which in turn are the root of all evil. Yeah, it was an option back then, it was still bad.

GameMaster’s Starter Guide

The GMSG kicks off with the usual but keeps it short instead of meandering in for hundreds of pages, and even includes the first raft of monsters, which is good. It goes bad, however, when it incorporates the 3e approach to balanced encounters – ELs and XP budget.  “The XP budget tells you the maximum amount of XPs you can tally to an encounter.” That’s some 4e bullshit right there and needs to go.

On the monsters, they have a “CAM” (Combat Ability Modifier) which seems overly simplistic – it’s a single modifier for all skills and attacks and physical attribute checks in combat. It replaces all the stats but Int and Per. I’m about streamlining but that’s a little much, it makes monsters too homogeneous. Everything’s as strong as it is dextrous as it makes Will saves. And it’s always equal to the monster’s HD, which begs the question of why it needs to be an additional separate stat with an oblique acronym in every listing.

It does have random treasure determination tables; I get pissed off every time I run Pathfinder and want one, so props there.

Both

The art is sparse but good,the graphic design is simple but good, and it’s copyedited better than many pro products I’ve bought.

The game is definitely a good innovation on and return to 2e; with some more work I could see it being competitive with e.g. Pathfinder which I really like. And I like it better than the 0e clones, I never got that, 1e is the first real edition, and even in a cleaned up version like Castles & Crusades there’s still a little bit too much “Oh I’m a first level cleric and have… no spells.  I suck.”

13 Assassins

Here’s a movie you don’t want to miss.  I saw 13 Assassins back at Fantastic Fest last year and now it’s in limited release in the US; here in Austin it’s showing at the Alamo Drafthouse South Lamar. I went to see it again last night and again was blown away at the brilliance of the film.

13 Assassins is directed by Takashi Miike (Ichi the Killer, Sukiyaki Western Django) and stars Koji Yakusho (Memoirs of a Geisha). It’s a traditional samurai movie in many respects, the kind there used to be scads of but isn’t really made much any more (technically, jidaigeki).

The general setup is that there’s a noble who is a degenerate Caligula style freak who is committing all kinds of atrocities, but he’s the Shogun’s half-brother so can’t be held to account. In fact, he gets nominated to be the Shogun’s chief advisor and once he travels back home from Edo, will take office and be untouchable. Finally the Chief Justice has to do something, and he approaches a samurai, Shinzaemon Shimada, and asks him to take care of this problem. Shinzaemon recruits 11 other samurai willing to risk their lives for the sake of taking out the sadistic noble and they plan an in-route hit, culminating in them taking a small village and turning it into a prepared kill zone. In an unfortunate turn for them the noble’s head samurai, who knows Shinzaemon, is forewarned and gets more troops, so the opposing force is 200+ clan samurai. This does not of course dissuade the samurai, who just hold up a banner stained with the bloody tears of one of the noble’s victims that reads “TOTAL MASSACRE” and then proceed to kick a legendary amount of ass.

The film is very, very well done. It has an economy of motion about it very fitting for a samurai movie.  There aren’t wasted scenes or movement; the momentum of the film builds strongly even through the early recruitment and planning scenes and doesn’t spin out or go over the top even in the end fight scene that’s an hour long(!). The violence is not done in a “cheap” way like in many, where the super-protagonist just kills an unlimited number of people because, hey, it’s a movie and they’re the star.  And it’s not turned into a big epic costume drama either. It is a very personal movie.  I was impressed that the 13 protagonists (they are joined by a hunter they find tied up in the forest, though he is a lot more than he seems) were all distinct characters without being broad stereotypes – that’s hard to do even with smaller ensemble casts.

It is refreshing after a diet of Hollywood movies where all you can really say is “Well, I’m glad it wasn’t awful” – like Thor and everything else I’ve seen this year really – to see something skillfully done, a movie made like a movie can be, with drama and violence and some humor and executed completely faithfully to its theme.

And also – you get to see an unparalleled samurai bloodbath.  Woot! Go see it.

RPG Review: Coliseum Morpheuon

My newest review is up on RPG.net! Here it is for your viewing pleasure.

Coliseum Morpheuon is, in its own words, “an Extraplaner [sic] plug-and-play mini-setting and adventure for 16th-20th level characters, wholly compatible with the Pathfinder Roleplaying Game.” It’s a patronage project by Rite Publishing, and the primary designers are Clinton J. Boomer (of D&D PSA and RPG Superstar fame) and Jonathan McAnulty. It’s a 128 page PDF and my review copy came with a number of separate PDFs with terrain and paper minis specifically for the adventure, which was a really nice touch.

Look and Feel

The front and back cover art is very nice, though the back cover text has a startling number of misspellings and grammatical errors. I found that a bit off-putting. Luckily the rest of the book doesn’t have that high a rate of editorial flaws. Inside, the layout is nice if not brilliant (I especially like the border art, but am dubious about the font choices especially within boxed text) and the interior art is good if not super frequent.

Contents

Chapter One is about the Plane of Dreams, where all this takes place, from the Shores of Sleep to the Slumbering Sea. It owes a lot to H.P. Lovecraft’s Dreamlands. It explains it briefly in both fanciful and technical game terms.

Chapter Two explains the art of “Dreamburning,” which is an interesting mechanic. A character’s hopes, aspirations, and dreams are turned into actual game effects in the lands of Dream, and can be used up by the character, or even destroyed or stolen. It’s a good mechanic – you have a limited number, so those who don’t roleplay at all have a resource management mechanic to play with, and also burning or gaining Dreams is reflective of actual changes to the character’s psyche, so if you are into the roleplaying it can be extremely interesting. And especially for a high level game, it adds some additional strangeness and risk that can add a new dimension to the usual grind.

Chapter 3 describes four denizens of the Dream. These range from the “chittering dream eater” to the iconic denizens of Leng.

Chapter 4 gets into the Island of the Coliseum Morpheuon itself, a land of coherent dream afloat in the Slumbering Sea, and its demented and depraved ruler, the Khan of Nightmares. It hosts a large bazaar-city whose most salient feature is the Great Coliseum where the Games go on endlessly, which contains charming locales like the Pagoda of Patricide. As a cosmopolitan city, it serves as the Waterdeep/Sigil/Sharn/Absalom of the setting. It’s pretty cool, but described only very briefly.

Chapter 5 narrows down to focus on 16 major denizens of the Coliseum itself and provides full writeps and stats for each. This is where a lot of meat is generated, and that’s good, because you can always make up more weird dream locations but NPCs for a 16-20th level campaign are hellishly hard and a lot of the work for an GM. This one chapter is as large as all four that came before put together.

Anyway, these NPCs aren’t your usual cast of characters. They are as weird as you’d expect high level denizens of a dream realm to be. The Dragon of the Ghostdance meets Jack of Diamonds, a “Lifespark Psion-Killer” who looks like an anime robot critter out of Neon Genesis Evangelion. There’s Kahnzadeh Sukhbataa, an “Advanced Transforming Shield Guardian Clay Golem Fighter 3,” the Solstice King, and the Pasha of Swirling Ashes. None are stock high level goons, they are all lovingly crafted in their complexity. There’s a lot of high level goodness packed into this chapter, and it’s worth looting for high level extraplanar NPCs or opponents on its own.

In Chapter 6, we move towards the adventure part of the program, with an overview of the Damnation Epoch, a specific tournament with the Cup of Desires as its prize, that is the primary adventure hook. Since they assume you have complex 16th level characters with huge backstories of their own coming into this, the authors take a toolkit approach and let you piece together a plot with chunks they provide instead of laying out a linear adventure path. The PCs, as a team in the tournament, are given a benefactor (one of the heavy hitters from Chapter 5).

Chapter 7, An Invitation to Damnation, is the first part of the adventure proper. It introduces the PCs to the realms of Dream, the Coliseum, and the games. It’s a lot more linear than the rest of the product, but I suppose that’s somewhat inevitable.

Chapter 8, The Tests of the Coliseum Morpheuon, is a set of adventure seeds for PCs once they’re established in the place. Then Chapter 9, The Tests of the Damnation Epoch, is about what actually happens in the arena – a set of 10 specific trials that the tournament consists of. Many teams participate, but few make it out. Chapter 10, Secrets of the Coliseum Morpheuon, is about larger plots to weave into the campaign. You could just run the Tests of the Epoch in Chapter 9 and have a straightforward “kill and kill again” campaign, or sprinkle in the Tests of the Coliseum in Chapter 8 to mix it up more, but it’s the Secrets of the Coliseum that proposes more high level goals the PCs may be trying to accomplish the and milestones towards them.

Then we have three appendices. The first two describe a couple opposing teams in detail, the Dirges and the Gray Feathers, one evil and one good, but both worthy opponents. They are fully statted up and have intriguing backstories. The third has four pregen characters, also complex and weird – no “Hi I’m Bob the 16th level fighter” guys here. If you don’t need pregens, you could use them as another opposing force. My only complaint here is that they don’t cite their references, making it hard to go find more information. Like one PC is a “Wyrd” and another is an “ironborn.” Are those from some other book? (Probably so, the OGL declaration in the back mentions a bunch of other works). But which? Having some codes that show where the various bizarre race, class, feat, and other power options are from would be invaluable.

Conclusion

I found myself wishing Coliseum Morpheuon was about three times longer than it is. It takes on an extremely ambitious scope in 128 pages, and as a result you often get very terse coverage of its contents. The text is very evocative, however, and provides a great framework for you to create a fantasia upon. And the hardest part, the high level opponents, are done up in detail, so the work you have to do is more the fun stuff than the soul crushing detail work of high level builds.

It’s just the bare bones of a setting, but more than enough to get started, and at that level tossing in a weird location and so many interesting and detailed NPCs means the adventures write themselves.

Coliseum Morpheuon is a rarity – a viable campaign for very high level PCs. It’s innovative and very well written. I give it a full 5 for substance. I have to dock it one point for style because of the lack of referencing and awful rear cover typos. I hope they fix those before they go to print; it sets an unfairly bad impression to see that on the outside of a work. But overall, it’s excellent and I would definitely run it for my gaming group.

Pathfinder RPG GM Screen

I’m not a big one for GM screens.  I like having one, but mainly just to obscure my notes and dice; having useful info on it is a “nice to have.”  I had a custom one I made of black posterboard I used throughout Second Edition.  I’ve been using a 3.5 one for my Pathfinder campaign.  I don’t get screens for most game systems; I have a couple others, inevitably, as part of my 1000-item RPG collection but don’t seek them out.

But then today I saw the Pathfinder GM Screen in my local gaming store.  “Eh…” I thought.  “Is it worth spending money on a screen?”  Then I picked it up and thought, “This is a fat package, does it have something else in it I want?”  Then I realized the screen itself is super duper well made and the whole centimeter of thickness of the product was just the screen itself.  It’s four panels, not of the usual cardstock, but of like hardcover textbook cover stock!  It’s not going to fall over, need other items chocking it into place, or the like.  I dropped the $15 without compunction.  It’s the best made GM screen I’ve ever seen.

They also did a good job of choosing what to put on it; not the “super easy to remember” or “supposed to be used during chargen” stuff, but all the fiddly skill check DCs, attack/AC modifiers, conditions, and object hardness/hit points.

Only one slipup – they have XP awards and treasure values on the screen for some bizarre reason (for those “I’m generating a random dungeon as I go” moments I guess).  Could have been used for hampered movement, light sources, combat feats summary, action types/AoOs, something.  But despite that, it’s definitely a great buy, and that’s from someone who generally considers screens a rip-off, one step above selling a bundle of blank character sheets.

Fantastic Fest – District 13: Ultimatum

District 13: Ultimatum is the sequel to the French parkour-and-martial-arts movie District B-13 (or “Banlieue 13” in Surrender Monkey), both by Luc Besson.  It pretty much follows the same formula – the French government’s gone all wrong and it takes two scrappy hunks from the wrong side of the tracks to flex some sense into it.

David Bell (Leto) is a miscreant who engages in minor vandalism and major free running, and his buddy Cyril Raffaelli (Damien) is a cop who loves him some martial arts.  As usual, the government/elite cops have a plan to kill all the poor people in District 13 by killing some cops, and putting them in gangland, and provoking a mass riot, and then getting the prime minister to bomb B-13 back into the Stone Age.  Damien and Leto have to evade and/or beat the snot out of 200 riot police and unite the five quite colorful gang leaders of the district to show the video of the shooting to the prime minister and stop the scheme.

The main problem is how unrealistic the plot is.  I mean, since when does having cops killing innocent people, even on video, result in anything other than “the officers were later cleared in the shooting…“?  Must be a European thing.  No, the plot is just an excuse to have cool stunts and fights.  And they’re pretty cool.  This movie focuses more on Damien and his martial arts then Leto and his parkour.  The fight scenes are nice and brutal, and like the previous movie they eschew CGI and wires for good old fashioned muscle-and-sinew work.  I wish there was a little more variety in the fights though, they are almost exclusively against faceless uniformed cops who stream out of everywhere like ants.  A couple mook fights are good in a martial arts movie, but I felt like the boss fights were lacking.  The pace is pretty good and it’s not allowed to lag too much before the next explosive action scene.

Like most Besson franchises, there’s a little bit of diminishing returns at work here; the action isn’t as novel and the fact that the plot is so much the same as the first movie erodes a little of the “dumb, but WOW” calculus of the original.  It is still fun, though, and listening to the French prime minister wax poetic about “liberte, egalite, fraternite” is inspiring.  In the end, I’m glad I saw it, though it’s not revolutionary it’s solid.

Fantastic Fest – Movie Summary

I will endeavor to write a review for each one of these fine films.  But here’s a cheat sheet!  I’ve stack ranked all the movies I saw here, from the ones I liked best to the ones I liked least.  There are really only two movies I disliked enough that I regretted seeing them, and only one of those intensely.

Must See

These are all instant classics I’d like to own the DVD of.  You should see them – alternately,  some don’t have distribution, so if you’re in “the biz” you should get a piece of them and distribute them!

  • Fish Story, a Japanese movie about a punk song that saves the world.  It is beautiful.  10/10.
  • Dirty Mind, a Belgian drama about a stuntman who gets a frontal lobe injury and turns from zero into Rico Suave.  Funny and thought-provoking.  9/10.
  • Stingray Sam, a sci-fi Western musical and one of the most hilarious things I saw at the festival.  9/10.
  • Mandrill, a South American version of James Bond.  Just enough camp.  9/10.
  • Zombieland, the big star-studded zombie comedy.  Nut up or shut up!  9/10.
  • The Revenant, a very well done movie of modern undead life.  9/10.
  • Doghouse, British zombie survival horror comedy.  Like Shawn of the Dead but with a touch of Return of the Living Dead.  8/10.
  • Rampage, by infamous director Uwe Boll.  Columbine meets Die Hard.  8/10.
  • Merantau – Indonesian martial arts, but transcends the genre.  8/10.

Should See

When you go to see one of these in the theater, you come out feeling your money was well spent.  Much better than the stuff playing on “SyFy”.

  • Sweet Karma, a chick-revenge killing movie with great gratuitous nudity and good twist.  7/10.
  • Salvage, a British horror/thriller.  7/10, higher with a better editing job.
  • Metropia, a dystopian uniquely animated movie.  7/10.
  • Crazy Racer, an over the top Chinese version of a Guy Richie movie.  7/10.
  • Kamogawa Horumo aka “Battle League in Kyoto”, a Japanese movie with a funny supernatural twist.  7/10.
  • REC 2 – The first REC was the movie Quarantine was based on.  This is the sequel, which kicks off immediately after the events in the first one, Halloween 2 style.  7/10.
  • Krabat, a German movie based on a young adult novel called “The Satanic Mill” (yeah, that’s how the Germans roll).  6/10.
  • Hard Revenge Milly, a bloody Japanese chick-revenge actioner.  6/10.
  • Ninja Assassin – Rain is a ninja killing ninja!  An over the top ninja actioner.  Ninja!  6/10.
  • Buratino, Son of Pinnochio, a weird Estonian film that’s like a light-hearted and musical version of Clockwork Orange.  6/10.
  • House of the Devil, a movie trying to replicate in every detail the typical late ’70s/early ’80s horror movie.  6/10.
  • District 13: Ultimatum, a sequel to the first French parkour-and-martial-arts dystopian actioner.  Dumb but fun.  6/10.
  • First Squad – Russian anime.  Pretty good if not exceptional.  6/10.
  • House (Hausu), an older Japanese film I describe as “John Waters does Evil Dead.”  5/10.

Could See

About what you’d expect from a good day on SyFy/Chiller.

  • Survival of the Dead, George Romero’s newest zombie movie, somewhat disappointing.  5/10.
  • Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl, Japanese splatter comedy.  5/10.
  • Under the Mountain, a young adult movie from New Zealand; apparently based on some famous book/TV series and bearing some similarity to Escape to Witch Mountain.  5/10, higher if you’re a kid.
  • Yesterday, good old fashioned zombie survival horror on a super low budget.  4/10.
  • Cropsey, a documentary about an alleged child murderer from Staten Island named Andre Rand that just doesn’t deliver much.  4/10.

Bah

These movies made me sad.

Stuff I Didn’t See

All this is complete hearsay.  But I heard from many people about many movies, and here’s my summary of the buzz.

The Good

Love Exposure, a 4 hour long Japanese movie about upskirt photography (among other things) was rave reviewed by everyone I talked to who saw it. I just couldn’t fit in a 4 hour movie in my schedule.

Down Terrace was also very well reviewed, but I missed it.

The Mixed

Clive Barker’s Dread – very mixed.  Some people hated it and walked out, bored.  Others say if you stay for the end it’s a big twist and gory demented.

I did not hear good things about Paranormal Activity, a new major release that’s like Blair Witch in your bedroom.  Same with Antichrist, the Lars von Trier horror vehicle.

The Human Centipede, about a surgeon who nabs three people and sews them together ass to mouth  into a big human centipede.  It won an award, but I didn’t talk to a single person that liked it.

Random Thoughts

Shorts.  Shorts are good.  I wonder why genre channels like Chiller and SyFy don’t run more shorts just interspersed with their programs; there are a lot of good ones, they’re cheap…

This was a “genre” festival.  That’s code for “good stuff Hollywood doesn’t like”  It’s an odd mix – zombie movies, horror movies, martial arts movies, foreign movies, R rated movies, non-G rated animated movies…  In today’s studio system, films like Sweet Karma, a solid thriller that’s a solid R but not a “horror ghetto” movie like Saw, don’t have a place, sadly.  I was actually surprised at how many movies weren’t traditional horror/sci-fi/martial arts genre movies.

Fantastic Fest – House of the Devil

The House of the Devil, by Ti West (Cabin Fever 2, The Wicked), is a homage to late ’70’s/early ’80’s horror movies and does a great job of slavishly reproducing the look and feel of movies from that time, from the lead actress’ feathered hair to the cinematography, title and credits, everything.

The lead, Samantha (Jocelyn Donahue) is a poor college student trying to make enough money to get a place of her own, and takes a babysitting job at a big house out of the city to that end and OH GOD SATANISTS!  The plot is the usual chick chased around a big house thing.  Donahue does a good job and the movie is suspenseful, it gets you with a couple good scares.   It resembles a film made in 1982 in just about every respect – story, effects, score, characters.  (With the welcome exception that the lighting work didn’t suck as bad as it did in the older movies, always a pet peeve of mine.)

That’s a cool and interesting accomplishment, and I enjoyed my time watching House of the Devil enough, but I didn’t think it was all that interesting once you got past the ’80’s reproduction thing.  It was a little bit too much Halloween meets Rosemary’s Baby; I liked the ’80’s tone but wanted the plot to be a little more than a retread.  It was gripping, though, and would be somewhere in the top 30% of 1980s horror movies.  Which, come to think of it, puts it above about 90% of the crap put out in the last year or so, thus I guess in the end analysis House of the Devil is pretty good.