Fantastic Fest – Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl

I knew I was in trouble when a bunch of pantsless Japanese men took the stage to introduce this film.  Director Yoshihiro Nishimura of Tokyo Gore Police and other splatter comedies introduced this film as being “along the lines of his previous work, but with more high school girls.”  If you are delicate of constitution you don’t want to keep reading this review.

Then came a short called “61 minutes” that is like a missing chapter from Tokyo Gore Police – “it happens 61 minutes into Tokyo Gore Police, between the fight with the girl with an alligator vagina and when the guy shows up with a big penis gun!”  We open on a woman with a big cock on her nose, and cocks like Medusa’s snakes all over her head, who fights police in metal Samurai armor by shooting cocks at them to explode their heads as blood sprays and rains down for minutes at a time and then a wizened old Indian (feathers, not dots) hit man shows up to fight her and her nose cock gets chopped off but then it becomes a flamethrower but when she flames the Indian he gets a stripper body and then I started crying and flashing back to when a friend and I rented “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” and ran out of booze and were forced to drink Amaretto and cooking brandy to dull the pain.

It had already been a long day and that short really took the starch out of me.  Luckily, Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl (though full of five minute long blood-spray sequences) wasn’t quite as bizarre as the short.  It’s a basic love triangle between hapless high school boy, a vampire, and a normal high school girl whose dad is a witch doctor/Dr. Frankenstein guy who turns her into a cobbled-together monster.  Filling out the film with unsubtle and tasteless humor (in the vein of the Scary Movie franchise)  is the “wrist cutting club” and the girls who color themselves to look like black people (“ganguro“, an actual Japanese fad).  Besides normal vampire powers, Vampire Girl makes things like sword-arms out of clotted blood.  Mainly, it’s full of caricatures capering around and fighting among spraying globules of blood and severed body parts recombining into more and more bizarre creatures.

It was definitely different.  Not high art, but trying to achieve a shlock high and bring the gore and bizarrity of the Troma films to a new apex.   It’s certainly entertaining from an “experience crazy Japanese people wallowing in blood” point of view – for me, a once-a-year kind of thing.  I can’t say it’s a “good” movie but it’s certainly – unusual.  Just make sure you  have enough booze on hand.  I have to say, even though I still had tickets to Doghouse at midnight, this movie drained me for the day and I headed home.

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