Fifth Session (14 page pdf) – We decide to sneak into Brinewall Castle the back way and as a result get the dubious reward of hitting the boss monster first, a hideous tentacle god. There is much probing. Then we rescue a barbarian chick from some holding cells. And there is much probing.
When we got back to the caravan to rest, we got a kick out of trying to explain what was going on to the NPCs. “The place is full of humanoids that are like Heckle and Jeckle meet Bullhead and they’re lead by a hellclown who loves live theater! But the fairy who’s not a fairy helps us.” I think they assumed we had been spending our time smoking crack in an abandoned ruin.
Them we did something either clever or stupid, we’re still not really sure in retrospect. We reasoned there certainly had to be some kind of secret tunnel exit and we searched around for it and found one! But it led us right to the entire castle’s boss monster – some kind of demonic flying decapus that farted on us and just about killed us all in one go. Being tactics guy, I got us to fall back into a more constrained space where it couldn’t fly, and Harwynian really came through by Webbing it. The endgame was really intricate – it was still getting spells in on us and we couldn’t really hurt it. But then it Scorching Rayed at us burning a tunnel through the Web. V’lk shot it and got a critical; Paizo crit cards (in the form of the iCrit iPad app) said “nerve center!” and it was stunned for the rest of the combat. And I got to finish it with a Fist of the North Star quote. Then we pulled the hell out of there because we were really messed up.
Once we’re not bleeding so much, we reinsert and free an Ulfen woman from an ogre jailer. I tried to make Viking-nice with her and it seems like it worked, she joined our caravan, and it got us a badge!
Gobo finds a secret door that leads out into a maze of tunnels leading deeper down. Hiro says, “Must lead to the Darklands! Hey wait… I hope that “third vault” prophecy doesn’t mean, like, the third vault of Orv because that would be f*cked up.”
“Shut the door!” cries Hiro.
“He chopped it down!” replies Jacob.
Bjorn vomits helpfully on a troglodyte.
Bjorn goes first, singing the battle-song of his people (“I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes; I saw the sign”).
Stairs continue up. Jacob says, “The hellclown is probably up there!”
Gobo replies, “But it was downstairs last time.”
V’lk signs “two.”
“Oh, you think there‟s two of them?” V’lk nods.
“Makes sense – it takes two tengu to tango!” says Hiro. He holds out his fist to V‟lk. “Blow it up!” V’lk declines grumpily.
We end with a nice cliffhanger – upstairs in a study we find the hellclown’s play, and Jacob just knocks it off the desk and bellows a challenge, much to our horror. Next time, we’ll find out what all responds!