Fantastic Fest – Day 2

Day 2 of Fantastic Fest was a total blast.  As a regular badge holder, I showed up 2 hours before the movies started to pick up tickets – I thought I was going to be early but the line was already huge.  The Alamo staff cranked through the whole thing in 30 minutes flat and I still got into everything I wanted to.  I am so impressed with how smoothly the logistics are going for this festival.

With time to burn, I headed over to Casa Garcias for some breakfast tacos.  Then I went back over to the Alamo and tried to catch up on this blog, but for some reason I’m having a chronic “Can’t get IP address” issue there.  Alas.  Life is SO HARD <sob>.

My movie lineup for day two is:

  • Kamogawa Horumo aka “Battle League in Kyoto”, a Japanese movie left largely undescribed in the program as “it’s craaaaazy wild!”
  • Krabat, a German movie based on a young adult novel called “The Satanic Mill” (yeah, that’s how the Germans roll)
  • Zombieland, the big star-studded world premiere of the day
  • Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl, Japenese splatter comedy
  • Doghouse, a horror comedy

I ended up not seeing Doghouse; after a long day of movies and a back and forth to the Paramount for Zombieland, I decided to start the long drive home at midnight rather than at 2 AM.  But reviews of the rest follow!  (Well, I got impatient and posted my review of Zombieland when I got home last night because it was just so good.)

Fantastic Fest – Zombieland!

I’m having a hard time keeping up with blogging all of Fantastic Fest, mainly because I keep having a bad time getting an IP address on the theater’s wifi, but I didn’t want to wait to share with everyone what a total badass trip Zombieland is. Fantastic Fest hosted the world premiere of this new film, and director Ruben Fleischer and cast Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg (the kid from Adventureland) and Emma Stone (the chick from Superbad) were there. It was very crowd-pleasing here in Austin that the film starts with Eisenberg’s character travelling from his University of Texas-Austin dorm back to his home city of Columbus.

The four characters are pretty much the only people left alive after a massive viral “fast zombie” outbreak.  So as to not get too attached to each other, they don’t even use names, just their cities of origin – Harrelson is “Tallahassee,” a super violent zombie killer, Eisenberg is “Columbus,” Stone is “Wichita,” and Abigail Breslin (aka Nim and Kitt Kittredge), the little girl, is “Little Rock.”  If you’ve seen the trailer, you have the general tone of the film – zombie laced dark comedy.  It’s always a worry that the jokes in the trailer are “all the good parts” and what’s left over is boring – but not in this case; the duo of Harrelson and Eisenberg is funny every step of the way.

There’s a surprising amount going on; though there aren’t many breaks from the nonstop and entertaining wisecracking and/or zombie killing, each of the four human characters are clearly defined and have their own internal conflict and arc going on.  (There’s a fifth human character, in an awesome turn, but I’m not going to give away the surprise by telling you who.)

Eisenberg’s character refers frequently to his “rules” of survival in Zombieland, from Rule 1: Cardio, to Rule 17: Never be a hero.  The rules are dynamically superimposed on the screen throughout the movie, in a way that could have been been distracting but instead flows really well and adds to the humor.  It’s a very interesting and nonstandard effect.

The action and zombie kills are bad ass, melding comedy and brutality seamlessly, whether it’s death by banjo, carnival ride, car door, toilet tank cover, hedge clippers…  It never quite goes over the line to pure camp, however, allowing you to stay “in the moment” with the cast of characters.  It’s also very interesting to just have the four characters to deal with – besides zombies and Surprise Person #5, it’s all these four actors all the time, which lends itself to a economy of scene that eliminates distractions and keeps the focus on their interaction.

The characters are not a terribly reflective bunch; first Tallahassee and Columbus meet and decide to stick together even though the former can tell the latter is “kind of a bitch.”  They get grifted by the two chicks but all end up travelling together, with various vague ends in mind – they’re not seriously planning for the long term; you get the impression that they have some things they’d like to see and do but pretty much the fall of civilization has resulted in them just not giving too much of a shit about anything any more.  There’s several scenes where the characters destroy things (like an Indian kitsch store in Arizona) pretty much just because they can.  Part of the development of the movie is them being able to learn to even give a shit about each other, their few remaining fellow humans.  They’ve all learned habitual distrust of others, as some might expect when the end comes.

The characters were well balanced, at least the main three (they didn’t make as much use of Breslin as they could have), but Harrelson really steals the show with his character’s exuberance and little twists – he’s always seeking the last Twinkie; he always paints a Dale Earnheart “3” on the sides of his appropriated Mad Max-mobiles; he really loves killing zombies in as hand to hand a way as possible…

The crowd went insane for this movie; it’s destined to become a horror-comedy gold standard.  A comparison to Shaun of the Dead is inevitable; I love both movies but they are quite different – Zombieland is a lot more energetic overall – more high-flying action; still a buddy comedy with a romantic element but a lot more – well, American; direct in humor and action sensibility.

So in summary – I loved it, all who saw it loved it, you will love it.

Fantastic Fest – Rec 2

REC” is the film on which the U.S. movie Quarantine was based.  I never saw REC, but did see Quarantine.  REC 2 picks up immediately (like about thirty seconds) after the end of REC, Halloween 2 style.  From what I can see, there is about zero meaningful difference between REC and Quarantine because everything was as I remembered it from the American remake.

We pick up with a SWAT team and “Ministry of Health” official entering the cordoned building which, as we know from REC 1/Quarantine, is full of “fast zombie” victims of some unknown plague.  The big twist (stop reading if you don’t like spoilers) here is that the “official” is really a priest and the plague, though spread like a normal blood/fluid zombie thing, is a demonic infestation.  The Vatican got a hold of a possessed girl and decided to do scientific experiments on her to find an “antidote.”  And thus the killing begins.  Some of the original cast return, and some more hapless camera-loving kids wander in to provide more points of view (as the core conceit is that everything in the film was captured on one real camera or another – the reporter’s camera from the first movie, the SWAT team’s helmet cams, and the kids’ camcorder).

REC 2 was entertaining enough, and well done.  Nothing to gush over, but it’s definitely a sequel that’s as good as the original, so if you liked Quarantine you’ll like this.

Fantastic Fest – Solomon Kane!

I was not to be thwarted by it being sold out, and was first in the standby line to get into Solomon KaneSolomon Kane, the Puritan adventurer, is one of Robert E. Howard’s fictional creations (along with Conan, Kull, and Bran Mak Morn).   Writer and director Michael J. Bassett (Wilderness, Deathwatch) was in attendance.

The movie was very good – I would sum it up as “Van Helsing, but without the suck.”  James Purefoy (Mark Antony from HBO’s Rome) stars as Kane.  Bassett decided to make an origin story for Kane instead of directly adapting an existing story.  Kane is a tortured soul; he starts the movie as a piratical badass but upon discovering that the Devil is eagerly awaiting his soul, forsakes his life of violence and embeds himself in a hermitage.  There’s pathos in his being forced back into a life of violence by Devil-insipired armies besetting the land – the movie doesn’t bear this as well as, say Clint Eastwood in Pale Rider, but then again who does.

Bassett makes great use of snow and rain and atmospherics, making the overall film feel much like a Howard story tells – dark, gritty, full of blood and steel and violence.  The movie’s cinematographer, Dan Laustsen, also worked on Brotherhood of the Wolf (also an excellent movie), and you can see the visual similarities.  One of my favorite shots is where Kane beheads an opponent, but it takes three brutal strokes to do it; more “chopping meat” and much less the light, airy pseudoviolence of many recent fantasy movies and TV shows.    (After the film, Bassett told a story about how they got a pig cadaver and had at it with various weapons to try and get a feel for what real weapon brutality would be like.)   Pete Postlethwaite, Max Von Sydow, and other notables fill out the cast.  CGI makes an appearance but is kept to a minimum (except with the too-balrogey demon in the end battle) – Bassett’s preference, as well as a budgetary limitation – the movie was not studio backed, but funded by its producers.

I’m sure there’s some deviant somewhere who will complain that this story isn’t a “pure Howard” Kane story, but it sure gets the tone right, and if successful Bassett wants to go on to make more Kane movies to tell some of Howard’s stories more directly.  I found it to be very enjoyable, similar in tone to The Thirteenth Warrior or Brotherhood of the Wolf.

Fantastic Fest – Merantau

Merantau,” where the film gets its name, is a kind of vision quest or walkabout for practitioners of silat, an Indonesian martial art.  Indonesia used to export a bunch of B action and martial arts movies until about fifteen years ago when they just plain stopped.  This is pretty much the first one since then.  As the story goes, a Welsh director, Gareth Evans, was in Indonesia making a documentary about silat when he thought “Hey, this looks pretty bad ass, I should make a proper martial arts movie with this.”  He found the star of Merantau, Iko Uwais, driving a truck for a telecom company.

The plot is bog standard – Yuda (Uwais) leaves his country home on his merantau, goes to the big city, falls on hard times (as in real life, apparently, being a super ninja doesn’t pay the bills) and immediately comes across a girl and her scrappy little brother who are in trouble.  A slick gangster is looking to force her into a life of sex slavery with some ruthless white international crime bosses (of uncertain provenance – Dutch?  South African?) .  Only ass kicking can save the day.  So far, this sounds like “Ong-Bak: The Indonesian Version,” right?  Interestingly, however, the movie is well done – the story is about 50% more coherent and the acting about 100% better than Ong-Bak and similar B movies. There are some great scenes between Yuda and his family, especially his mother, played by Christine Hakim.  We were told afterwards that the version of the movie we were screening had 45 minutes of “family drama” cut from it to get to the action more quickly – from what I can see of the actors’ work, that is a shame.  All the characters are interesting and have some depth to them, even the villains – I particularly liked Alex Abbad’s “Jonhi” as the Indonesian pimp/thug trying hard to impress his bosses in a no-win situation; it was played for comedy but with a very light hand.

The martial arts action is good and seeing a new martial art is always interesting. Silat is a very sinuous and close-in style, mixing hard strikes with joint locks and throws.  There are a couple entertainingly brutal takedowns – the crowd favorite was one where Yuda is fleeing thugs across a series of rooftops; he jumps from one roof to another and stops to grab a bamboo pole – when the first mook leaps after him, he gets speared right in the chest in midair and then falls three stories.

The action setpieces, decently though not spectacularly choreographed, aren’t as over the top and interesting as Ong-Bak or some kung fu movies, but with the interesting characters and genuinely emotive acting, I thought Merantau transcended being a generic martial arts movie from Undiscovered Country Of The Month and was a truly enjoyable film overall.  I could tell the crowd at the screening felt the same way; there was a general feeling of (very pleasant) surprise at having expected an unpolished martial arts movie but getting a film with depth and character instead.

Fantastic Fest – First Squad

First Squad was interesting, it was written by Russians but animated by the Japanese  Studio 4°C, which did Animatrix and some other stuff, so the art is very high quality.  It’s about a girl named Nadya who is part of  the Russians’ own paranormal intelligence effort to combat the Nazis’.  Her cadre, the rest of the “First Squad,” is killed in training, but when the Nazis summon the ghost of a dead knight to turn the tide of the Eastern Front, she has to journey to the land of the dead to get them to help.

The interesting thing I thought was that it was done in the style of a documentary; the action would break and you’d go to a (real, not animated) crusty old Russian talking about their war experience or war history or whatnot.  Some of the events in the film, notably the starting and ending battles, were based on historical events so this added a very pleasing “beneath the skin of history” layer to it.

Other than that, the plot and action were kinda “standard” anime, though more coherent that some.  I liked it, though wouldn’t rave about it.   It’s probably the most concise thing I’ve seen out of the Russians ever, however, which makes it notable.

Fantastic Fest – Day 1!

In a break from the normal RPG-only content hereabouts, I will be blogging about my visit to Fantastic Fest 2009!  FF is a week-long film festival here in Austin, TX with a focus on the “weird stuff” – horror, martial arts, foreign…  It’s co-sponsored by Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News.  I had a bunch of vacation to take by the end of the year, and decided since I’ve never done a film festival before, it would be a fun thing to try!

They have a pretty streamlined process where you get all your tickets for the day first thing, so you don’t have to stand in line for specific shows just to discover you don’t get in.  I discovered that, sadly, even though I was here early  I didn’t get a ticket to see Solomon Kane, the movie based on the Robert E. Howard hero by the same name.  So my lineup for the day is:

  • First Squad – Russian anime (No, really!)
  • Merantau – Indonesian martial arts.  (No, really!)
  • Short Fuse, a collection of shorts.  This was the Solomon Kane slot, as well as some big premiere for “Gentleman Broncos“, another outing by the Hess brothers, the Napoleon Dynamite guys.  I’m not too interested in Broncos, so I chose the shorts, and am wondering about the possibility of going standby for no-shows for Solomon Kane.
  • REC 2 – The first REC was the movie Quarantine was based on.  This is the sequel, which kicks off immediately after the events in the first one, Halloween 2 style.

This is a short day, subsequent days have like 5-6 slots.  Can my butt stand it?  We’ll find out.

Hooray for the Alamo

It’s made a lot easier by the fact that most of the screenings are at several of the Alamo Drafthouse locations.  For you poor bastards that don’t have something like this, the Alamo has a full service food and drink menu that they bring to your seat; each row of seats has a table-counter-thing in front of it to hold your, for example, pizza and bucket of beer.  Quite civilized.  They play entertaining shorts and old movie trailers and whatnot in the time leading up to the film, too, so the usual procedure is to show up really early, get settled in, order your food while watching the trailers and talking, and then you’re all set when the movie starts.   The Alamo is an Austin institution; there’s 4 in Austin and they’ve spread to San Antonio and Houston (and, weirdly, West Virginia.)

Two New Alternity “The Lighthouse” Session Summaries Posted

In these two sessions, we go through the Alternity hosejob called “The Last Warhulk.”   I think we’re starting to regret not going with more combat-monster characters, or at least as monstery as we could be at such low levels.

Sixth Session – A holographic yet stabby and underage prospective lover appears in Ten-Zil Kem’s room.  When she’s rejected, a huge warship appears and pulps the Lighthouse and her destroyer contingent.  The command staff shuttles over to beg for our lives, and we are tentacle-raped by warbots as the ship departs into drivespace.

I don’t mind losing, but the space combat took such a long time to resolve – and all there was to resolve was us being pounded for two rounds.  Apparently it wasn’t supposed to be a totally one sided shellacking; in games where levels etc. count less it can be hard to estimate a good challenge level.

Seventh Session – We determine the crazy AI in charge of this ship has to go.  Happily, we have popguns and level 2-3 characters to pit against the well armed, armored, and sensored robot legions.  But then we find some plastic explosives and it’s BOOM time!  Oddly, the female alien on the ship’s crew does not find herself irresistibly drawn to Captain Takashi, to everyone’s disappointment.

We manage to pull this off, but the only way to hurt the warbots is by using whole clusters of 6 energy grenades at a time (seriously) liberated from dead robots.  Did I mention I have all of one rank in Pistol and carry a little laser pistol?

This session was more fun than the last one since we had a lot more people to spread around and the crazy AI and the aliens were entertaining to interact with.

This scenario showcases some of the worst spots of Alternity, sadly.  All the technical skills needed to open doors etc. took minutes to use.  So when a robot firefight broke out, you couldn’t have people dramatically closing blast doors or hacking computers to help.  That sucks.  And then the difficulty scaling was an issue.  We all started at level 1 recently and a level 1 Alternity character can’t hit crap.  Which is fine, but everything we fight (pretty much in all the sessions) has Good armor and really heavy arms.  Paul’s used a couple of the printed Alternity adventures so far and they’re all like this, assuming you have heavily armed, armored, and skilled PCs at all times.  So of course we have to resort to bandoliers full of grenades and plastic explosives.  And then it’ll be hard to have a normal fight with normal opponents if we get acclimated to generating huge explosions with impunity.

I’m still enjoying the campaign, but session 6 was very un-fun and the continued trend of needing uber combat is sad – I’ll just have to bring my Warlion on every adventure instead of the Captain.

D&D Soda!?!

Check it out – limited edition D&D “Spellcasting Soda” from Jones Soda.  I know I hate Wizards of the Coast now and I shouldn’t like this, but really it’s pretty cool and entertaining.  I want “Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer.”   I wonder if they taste good?  My only Jones experience was with a holiday novelty pack and it tasted like burning, but those were admittedly weird flavors.

Indulgences, Waves One and Two Reviews Posted

My reviews of Indulgences, Wave One and Wave Two by Sinister Adventures are up on RPG.net.

These two products are four PDFs each, of adventures and supplemental material for D&D 3.5e or Pathfinder specifically designed to support a Razor Coast campaign – but any kind of sea-based adventurers will love them.  Check ’em out!

Sinister Adventures Adds Savage Worlds Support!

Nick Logue’s RPG imprint, Sinister Adventures, has put out some good lil’ PDF tidbits and is about ready to put out their first large, blood-soaked adventure, Razor Coast.  They have a couple more things in the pipeline.  They had already announced that their products would support both D&D 3.5e and Pathfinder – when  you buy, you get to pick which print copy you want, and you get both PDFs for your trouble.

This was cool enough, but today they announced that their stuff will also support Savage Worlds!  SW is an increasingly popular alternative for groups (including ours) who want a game without the huge rule weight of modern D&D and don’t like retroclones.

I’ve been waiting for Razor Coast eagerly, and being able to run it in either system will be a big draw for me because it means more potential for reuse.  So props to Sinister for this big move!

Cannon for Pathfinder

Field Grade Weapons

Most cannon are cast bronze, smooth bore, muzzleloading weapons, although some are breech-loading and older ones are constructed of iron bars welded and bound together. Because they are expensive and rare, many cannons are ornately carved and decorated, and larger ones often have unique names.

Cannon

Name	       Cost	  Damage   Weight      Range        Mount	Crew	Ready
Bombard	       10,000 gp  12d10    8000 lbs.   400 ft.	    -		6	10/4
Cannon          8,000 gp  10d10    6000 lbs.   300 ft.	    Very Heavy	5	6/3
Demi-cannon     6,000 gp   8d10	   4000 lbs.   250 ft.	    Heavy	4	5/2
Culverin        4,000 gp   6d10	   3000 lbs.   200 ft.	    Medium      3	4/2
Small culverin  2,000 gp   4d10	   2000 lbs.   150 ft.	    Light       2	3/2
Swivel-gun      1,000 gp 2d10/4d6   200 lbs.   100 ft./25 ft.	-	1	2/1

Damage: Assuming solid shot, this is the damage done on a direct hit. Cannon (with the exception of swivel-guns) cannot effectively be aimed at a specific person, but instead are aimed at a specific area with the intent of damaging a structure. Monsters that are size Huge or larger can be individually targeted (assuming they stay still for the several rounds needed to aim and fire the weapon). When a cannon hits its target area, it only does its listed damage to that 10x10x10 part of the structure, not any creature there. (On a natural 20, the cannon hits an unlucky person in that area dead on and does full damage to them as well.) However, cannons often do splash damage. If the cannon is using stone shot and firing into a stone environment (like most towns), this damage comes from stone fragments (slashing), or if the cannon is using any solid shot and firing into a wooden environment (like a ship), the damage comes from wooden shivers (piercing). Anyone in the 10×10 target area must make a DC 15 Reflex save or else take ¼ the direct damage inflicted by the shot from the fragments. For example, if a PC is hiding in a 10×10 wooden shack that is hit by a culverin inflicting 35 points of damage on the structure, he may take 8 points of fragment damage if he fails his save.

Crew: All members of the crew must have at least one rank in Profession: siege engineer.

Ready: Cannons all require the listed number of full round actions to reload and then aim with a normal crew. They must be re-aimed every time they are fired because their recoil moves them significantly out of place. If they are operated with a smaller crew than the listed minimum, the time it takes to reload them is proportionately longer.

Proficiency: All cannon require Profession: Siege Engineer (or Artillerist, or Cannoneer, or whatever you want to call it) to operate.

Inaccurate: All cannon have an inherent -4 to hit penalty due to the difficulty of aiming them precisely. This penalty may be reduced by 1 for every 5 points the gunner has in Profession: siege engineer. A gunner uses their base attack bonus, Int bonus, and other modifiers for range, vision, motion, etc. to determine their total attack bonus.

Misfire: Whenever you roll a natural 1 on an attack roll made with a cannon, the cannon might misfire. The crew chief must immediately roll a Profession: siege engineer check at DC 15 (the rest of the crew may assist). A successful check indicates that the wad simply misfired and the cannon must be reloaded. A failure by up to 5 indicates that the cannon is fouled and requires 2 full rounds to clear before it can be reloaded. A failure by up to 10 means that the cannon gains the broken condition and requires repair before further use. A natural 1 on this check means that the cannon has exploded and does its full normal damage to everyone and everything within 10 ft.

Weapon Descriptions

Bombard: Very large caliber front-loading cannon used in sieges. They fire hundred pound stone balls. Bombards are too large for most ships to carry. A variant of bombard that is used for indirect fire is called the mortars.

Cannon: A heavy bronze cannon firing a 36 to 50 pound shot, also known as a basilisk. These usually can only be placed on the bow mount of very large galleys.

Demi-Cannon: Also known as the cannon-perier, it fires a 24 pound shot. This is the heaviest weapon that can be fired from the side of a ship, and a large ship at that.

Culverin: The culverin is a medium cannon firing an 18 lb shot. These are the most common large weapon mounted broadside on sailing ships.

Small Culverin: Also known as the demi-culverin, this weapon fires a 10 lb shot and is suitable for mounting on many ships, including on the top deck.

Swivel-gun: Swivel-guns, which come in varieties also known as falcons, falconets, or robinets, can take a 1-2 pound solid shot or be filled with a dozen pistol shots. They do 2d10 damage with solid shot, but when loaded with pistol shot do 4d6 damage, less 2 points per range increment, in a 10×10 square. A gunner applies their Dexterity bonus to hit instead of their Int bonus with a swivel-gun.

Ammunition: stone or lead solid shot are the most common ordnance in cannon. There is also chain or bar shot which is effective against rigging (normal solid shot passes through rigging doing only minimum damage). Grapeshot or canister shot can also be used; this does not do structural damage but targets the crew, doing half the listed damage to all crew in a 10x10x10 area.

Analysis

Taking the Stormwrack method of doing ship damage, where e.g. a caravel has 24 hull sections with hardness 5 and 80 hp each, and six must be destroyed to sink the ship – it requires 3-4 good hits with a culverin to destroy one 10x10x10 section. Given that the cannon can only fire slightly better than once a minute, that’s a good balance of enough damage with promoting resolution by boarding and melee. A heavily armed small carrack might sport 2 culverins below and 5 demi-culverins on deck per side, which at that rate could sink a ship of its class but only with some work.

Example of cannon fire: A pirate sloop approaches a merchant caravel and decides to soften them up a bit before closing. They aim their two starboard culverins and fire. The base AC to shoot a caravel is -3 because it’s just a big ass object really (value taken from Stormwrack), or AC3 if you want to shoot at a specific section. In this case the pirates just want to hit wherever on it to demoralize the crew. The ships are 200 yards apart, which is three range increments out for the culverin (-6 range). There is a moderate wind (no penalty) and both the firing platform and the target are moving (-5 for each, says Stormwrack, though that seems high ). Total AC to hit is 13. The master gunner (+5 BAB, +2 Int, 10 ranks in Prof: SE) and a crew of three is manning one gun and a bunch of gunner pirate mooks (+2 BAB, +0 Int, 3 ranks in Prof: SE) are manning the other. So the two shots are +5 vs AC 13 (about a sure thing) and -2 vs AC 13 (hit about half the time).