Third Session (11 page pdf) – To make an impression, we take on Lucha Libre character aliases and go to the local arena and murder our way up the gladiator list till everyone leaves us alone. And then we go to a house party!
So we’re in Alushinyrra in the Abyss and want to gain Nocticula’s attention. Usually that would call for sex and torture and assassination but we’re all paladin types so we go to the arena to kill demons instead.
We take on stage names and costumes for the event!
- Antonius becomes “Mindfreak,” dressed in a Ming the Merciless robe and a helmet that looks like a mind flayer head (since trademark violation is super evil!).
- Calanthe becomes “Stripperella” due to her succubus costume.
- Tsuguri becomes “The Fiendish Dr. Fu Manchu.” He wears a demon-fetishist rig with green crescent moons and a transparent helmet that looks like it has a brain inside.
- Tabregon buys leather clothing with floating colored strips and styles himself “Dr. Nasty.”
- Shawanda is “The Brick.” She has some bricks with her. She’s not the most inventive of paladins.
- Trystan is “The Elf With No Name.” Mainly because he is determined not to get into the spirit of things and has no stage name.
It goes well, we only have to kill a couple trash mobs before Gelderfang, an incubus with a pizza cutter hand, comes for us.
Shawanda “The Brick” runs up and cuts chunks off Gelderfang, pleasing the crowd and leaving Gelderfang looking horribly maimed. Oh Gelderfang, he’s not pretty no more!
Trystan “The Elf With No Name” shoots Gelderfang again, skewering him. Calanthe “Stripperella” flies in again and strikes Gelderfang with both blindness (which Gelderfang resists) and the rod of wonder (which causes dance music to start playing).
Antonius invokes his titan’s stance and grows to large size and starts dancing to the throbbing techno beat. He crushes Gelderfang’s skull and extracts his brain as the crowd roars its approval. “Mind Freak!!!!” he shrieks in his best mind flayer/Cobra Commander voice. The characters are swarmed with enthusiastic folks of all descriptions from the audience.
Afterwards, we find a night hag selling magic items from the Magic Item Compendium because D&D 3.5e is still holding on in the Abyss.
Then I left before the rest of the group went to win the favor of a succubus lord – when asked what they would do to entertain her, the answer was “Extreme political satire!” But since everyone in the group rolls huge on any skill check you care to name, it all worked out fine in the end.