Category Archives: reviews

Fantastic Fest – Under the Mountain

“Under the Mountain” is apparently a famous story in New Zealand – first a book written by Maurice Gee in the 1950s, then a NZ TV series in the 1980s, and now a movie.  It’s the second outing from Jonathan King, who did the also New Zealand based horror comedy “Black Sheep” (about sheep that start eating people).

The movie is targeted at the tween market – not too young children, as I bet my seven year old would about crap her drawers if she watched this movie, but it’s not super horrifying for us jaded adults.  “More fodder for the Twilight crowd,” I’d say (not that there’s anything wrong with that).  It can be compared somewhat to Escape to Witch Mountain, but darker and scarier.

I thought the movie was well done.  Sam Neill as the crazy homeless guy slash friendly alien was fun and the boy and girl cast as the twins did a decent if not awe-inspiring job.

The plot is simple – a pair of twins, Theo and Rachel, go to live with their aunt and uncle in Auckland when their mother dies.  The twins, a boy and a girl, have a light psychic bond but the boy has completely shut himself off from it since the death.  In short order they determine that the weirdos living across the lake in a decrepit house mean to kill them and they find a crazy homeless guy who can help – he explains that the bad guys (the “Wilberforces”) are bad Lovecraftian aliens who have seven huge “Gargantua,” alien war monsters, in stasis under the seven volcanoes in the area.  Homeless guy is a good fire alien who needs twins with a psychic bond to use two “fire stones” and, by tossing them into one of the volcanoes, thwart the evil aliens forever (it’s unclear how or why this does that, but roll with it).  Soon they, their cousin Ricky, and his main squeeze Clementine are racing back and forth across the area trying to not get tentacle-probed by the shape-changing Wilberforces while  Theo tries to get his act together enough to trust his twin and unleash the POOOOOOWER!!!!

I found it enjoyable, though tame for me the famed zombie hunter.  But I think it will do well; it’s about 2000% better than the utterly shit recent remake of Escape From Witch Mountain with that wrestler, and that made decent bank.  I hope a tweeney horror movie that isn’t total tripe might do even better.

Fantastic Fest – K-20: The Fiend With Twenty Faces

Aka “K-20: The Legend of the Mask,” this pulp movie is set in the 1949 of an alternate history where WWII never happened and so Japan is still riven by strong class distinctions and the poor have it pretty bad.  A notorious masked burglar, “K-20”, strikes fear into the hearts of the rich.  A poor circus performer, Heikishi Endo, is framed by K-20 and has to resort to daring thievery of his own to reclaim his good name and thwart the fiend, who is trying to get a big Tesla coil to use as a weapon.  It evokes Batman, The Shadow, Black Mask, Spiderman, and Darkman as inspirations.

I’m going to get this out of the way first thing – this movie was not nearly as good as I’d hoped it would be.  It had some promising bits, but they were all mostly squandered.

The set design was nice – in the first scene, the alt-history city looks nice and steampunkey, with police gyrocopters labelled in Japanese and German both (Polizei!).  You never see any Germans, however, and except for the Tesla coil as a McGuffin the steampunk elements are never utilized either.

Furthermore, I couldn’t figure out what Takeshi Kaneshiro was trying to do with his character, the piece’s hero, Heikichi Endo.  He allegedly starts out as a master acrobat and illusionist in the circus and after being framed takes up thievery to get back at K-20 – but some of the time, he really seems to achieve nearly Sling Blade-like levels of mild retardation.  “I just want to go back the the circus and pet my doves!” he mumbles, clutching himself, in several scenes.  To quote the much better movie Zombieland from yesterday, “Nut up or shut up!”

This could be forgivable if the action was good.  It is not.  His “training” (in what tries to be a nod to genre tropes, he basically reads a book of thieving lore and becomes able to do pretty much supernatural tricks of disguise) is basically free running (parkour).  Free running is fun and all but it’s already being overexposed in movies and needs a little something (like a decent fight) to spice it up.  But the martial arts action is very few and far between, and when showdowns happen between K-20 and Endo they are nothing to write home about – a lot of jumping but that’s about it.  They finally have to resort to a gun to try to kill each other, as they realize that even beating on a helpless opponent with their sissy punches isn’t going to result in more than light bruising.

The identity of K-20 is supposed to be a big secret and shocking reveal – and I hoped it would be one of the less obvious characters – but no, if you have ever watched movies you’ll know who K-20 is very early on.  The love interest is one-dimensional and annoying; you’re supposed to be impressed by her being so game to leap into daring plots and pilot gyrocopter rescues, but then she opens her mouth and talks and it’s ruined.

The old inventor-thief and his ex-swindler wife are the only bright spots in the film; they are interesting and play their parts well.

I am pre-sold when you tell me “it’s a steampunk pulp hero martial arts movie,” and you have to work pretty hard to un-sell me, but K-20 managed to do that.  Why the hell do they call him K-20?  Why do all of the group of thieves he loudly despises immediately pledge to do everything in their life’s power to help him?  Why is every plot point so brutally and hamhandedly obvious?  I don’t know, but I can’t recommend K-20.

Fantastic Fest – Krabat

My next selection for the day was a German film called Krabat.  But first, they played a short called “Rite” by Alicia Conway, which details a young girl’s coming of age ceremony.  It plays like a happy Protestant confirmation of some kind is in the offing, with relatives in summer dresses and a picnic and a sunny trellis-lined outdoor service.  The shock is that the ritual itself is – well, it’s unexpected, and at first blush seems a little grotesque.  (I won’t give away exactly what it is.)  But upon further reflection, in the end it doesn’t seem ‘evil’ or ‘Satanic’ or anything; as a student of religion, I could see a ritual very much like this being plausible on any number of theological grounds.  And when it’s over, everyone is happy and goes on with life, there’s no “Mmmwah hah haaa now you’re part of the coven” kind of action.  I especially liked the way it was filmed; very professional, very light-saturated.

Krabat is named after the main character, an orphan boy who is taken in by a miller who is obviously a sorcerer, and details his coming of age in the black arts with eleven other journeymen who are in the same apprenticeship.  It’s dark and grim (Grimm?  Get it?  I crack myself up) and details the allure of the power their Satanic master grants, but the eventual desire for freedom and goodness that impels the boys to eventually try to break free.  “Hey, maybe this black magic thing isn’t as cool as it seems if we get sacrificed to hell-wolves every once in a while!”

The magic is portrayed as real, though much more limited in scope than Harry Potter; the boys can turn into ravens and become stronger than normal; their master can cloud mens’ minds with illusions, but there are a lot of ritual prerequisites and “proper times of the year” – in other words, it’s depicted very ‘realistically’ in terms of historical black magic practice.

My favorite part is the creepy figure that shows up only on the new moon with a wagon full of human bones for them to grind into meal in the mill.  Eek!

There are a dozen boys and the Master – when they first introduce them all I thought, “Shit, really?  I hope about half these guys get killed real soon so I don’t have to keep track of them.”  But even with such a large cast they do a good job of making each boy distinct and memorable and it wasn’t a problem.

Krabat is based on a German young adult book called “The Satanic Mill.”  You can immediately see the problem with this film being released here in the U.S. – and to be fair, not completely without reason.  Though Krabat turns his back on black magic, it’s not because it’s “wrong” but because it’s kind of a bad deal in this case, and still regrets the “price” of losing his kewl powerz; not exactly a ringing denunciation of the work of the Devil.  It’s easy to ignore the fundamentalists raving about how Harry Potter is Satanic; this film – well, it’s admittedly Satanic, and though not a ringing endorsement of it by any stretch of the imagination, is few enough shades of grey away that a large percentage of the U.S. market would not buy off on it.  I like that in the end, however, that the strongest force is the brotherhood the boys feel for each other.

Fantastic Fest – Battle League In Kyoto (Kamogawa Horumo)

Kamogawa Horumo was only vaguely described in the program as a “tasty Japanese confection drizzled in bat-shit crazy syrup.”  I’m down with that, so I went.  What I got was a little unexpected, actually – given the kind of Japanese insanity that exists in movies like “Tokyo Gore Police,” this is an EXTREMELY tame movie; don’t expect it to be super hyperkinetic bizarreness.  It’s a college romantic comedy with a layer of the (light and fun) supernatural on it.

However, don’t take that to mean that Kamogawa Horumo isn’t a good movie.  It is hard to review because it has a “secret” that not knowing makes the movie a lot more fun, but unlike the Sixth Sense the secret is about halfway through the movie, not at the end.  It’s definitely a movie to NOT read up on ahead of time.

Suffice it to say that it starts out with two friends as freshmen at Kyoto University who join a student club called the Azure Dragons.  “What is this club for?”  Well, no one will say for sure.  It’s a “perfectly normal” club, they repeatedly stress.  But they soon go from beer-and-food get togethers to learning the “Oni language” and doing weird dance moves.  Then the weirdness busts out.

It’s a charming movie, entertaining and kid-friendly.  The male lead, Yoshioshi Arakawa, plays a sad sack love-crossed guy – that part of the plot tends to drag at times, as sad sack college romantic comedies are prone to do.  I occasionally wanted to hit him and yell, “Man up!”.   His sidekick is really funny; the spirits force him to wear a samurai topknot in penance for his cowardice in the “battle league” and the reactions of other people seeing it never get old (I especially like the waitress who is so flustered she drops her serving tray).  The female leads are serviceable but forgettable.  In the end, it’s not an awesome movie, but it’s entertaining and enjoyable by the whole family.

Fantastic Fest – Zombieland!

I’m having a hard time keeping up with blogging all of Fantastic Fest, mainly because I keep having a bad time getting an IP address on the theater’s wifi, but I didn’t want to wait to share with everyone what a total badass trip Zombieland is. Fantastic Fest hosted the world premiere of this new film, and director Ruben Fleischer and cast Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg (the kid from Adventureland) and Emma Stone (the chick from Superbad) were there. It was very crowd-pleasing here in Austin that the film starts with Eisenberg’s character travelling from his University of Texas-Austin dorm back to his home city of Columbus.

The four characters are pretty much the only people left alive after a massive viral “fast zombie” outbreak.  So as to not get too attached to each other, they don’t even use names, just their cities of origin – Harrelson is “Tallahassee,” a super violent zombie killer, Eisenberg is “Columbus,” Stone is “Wichita,” and Abigail Breslin (aka Nim and Kitt Kittredge), the little girl, is “Little Rock.”  If you’ve seen the trailer, you have the general tone of the film – zombie laced dark comedy.  It’s always a worry that the jokes in the trailer are “all the good parts” and what’s left over is boring – but not in this case; the duo of Harrelson and Eisenberg is funny every step of the way.

There’s a surprising amount going on; though there aren’t many breaks from the nonstop and entertaining wisecracking and/or zombie killing, each of the four human characters are clearly defined and have their own internal conflict and arc going on.  (There’s a fifth human character, in an awesome turn, but I’m not going to give away the surprise by telling you who.)

Eisenberg’s character refers frequently to his “rules” of survival in Zombieland, from Rule 1: Cardio, to Rule 17: Never be a hero.  The rules are dynamically superimposed on the screen throughout the movie, in a way that could have been been distracting but instead flows really well and adds to the humor.  It’s a very interesting and nonstandard effect.

The action and zombie kills are bad ass, melding comedy and brutality seamlessly, whether it’s death by banjo, carnival ride, car door, toilet tank cover, hedge clippers…  It never quite goes over the line to pure camp, however, allowing you to stay “in the moment” with the cast of characters.  It’s also very interesting to just have the four characters to deal with – besides zombies and Surprise Person #5, it’s all these four actors all the time, which lends itself to a economy of scene that eliminates distractions and keeps the focus on their interaction.

The characters are not a terribly reflective bunch; first Tallahassee and Columbus meet and decide to stick together even though the former can tell the latter is “kind of a bitch.”  They get grifted by the two chicks but all end up travelling together, with various vague ends in mind – they’re not seriously planning for the long term; you get the impression that they have some things they’d like to see and do but pretty much the fall of civilization has resulted in them just not giving too much of a shit about anything any more.  There’s several scenes where the characters destroy things (like an Indian kitsch store in Arizona) pretty much just because they can.  Part of the development of the movie is them being able to learn to even give a shit about each other, their few remaining fellow humans.  They’ve all learned habitual distrust of others, as some might expect when the end comes.

The characters were well balanced, at least the main three (they didn’t make as much use of Breslin as they could have), but Harrelson really steals the show with his character’s exuberance and little twists – he’s always seeking the last Twinkie; he always paints a Dale Earnheart “3” on the sides of his appropriated Mad Max-mobiles; he really loves killing zombies in as hand to hand a way as possible…

The crowd went insane for this movie; it’s destined to become a horror-comedy gold standard.  A comparison to Shaun of the Dead is inevitable; I love both movies but they are quite different – Zombieland is a lot more energetic overall – more high-flying action; still a buddy comedy with a romantic element but a lot more – well, American; direct in humor and action sensibility.

So in summary – I loved it, all who saw it loved it, you will love it.

Fantastic Fest – Rec 2

“REC” is the film on which the U.S. movie Quarantine was based.  I never saw REC, but did see Quarantine.  REC 2 picks up immediately (like about thirty seconds) after the end of REC, Halloween 2 style.  From what I can see, there is about zero meaningful difference between REC and Quarantine because everything was as I remembered it from the American remake.

We pick up with a SWAT team and “Ministry of Health” official entering the cordoned building which, as we know from REC 1/Quarantine, is full of “fast zombie” victims of some unknown plague.  The big twist (stop reading if you don’t like spoilers) here is that the “official” is really a priest and the plague, though spread like a normal blood/fluid zombie thing, is a demonic infestation.  The Vatican got a hold of a possessed girl and decided to do scientific experiments on her to find an “antidote.”  And thus the killing begins.  Some of the original cast return, and some more hapless camera-loving kids wander in to provide more points of view (as the core conceit is that everything in the film was captured on one real camera or another – the reporter’s camera from the first movie, the SWAT team’s helmet cams, and the kids’ camcorder).

REC 2 was entertaining enough, and well done.  Nothing to gush over, but it’s definitely a sequel that’s as good as the original, so if you liked Quarantine you’ll like this.

Fantastic Fest – Solomon Kane!

I was not to be thwarted by it being sold out, and was first in the standby line to get into Solomon Kane.  Solomon Kane, the Puritan adventurer, is one of Robert E. Howard’s fictional creations (along with Conan, Kull, and Bran Mak Morn).   Writer and director Michael J. Bassett (Wilderness, Deathwatch) was in attendance.

The movie was very good – I would sum it up as “Van Helsing, but without the suck.”  James Purefoy (Mark Antony from HBO’s Rome) stars as Kane.  Bassett decided to make an origin story for Kane instead of directly adapting an existing story.  Kane is a tortured soul; he starts the movie as a piratical badass but upon discovering that the Devil is eagerly awaiting his soul, forsakes his life of violence and embeds himself in a hermitage.  There’s pathos in his being forced back into a life of violence by Devil-insipired armies besetting the land – the movie doesn’t bear this as well as, say Clint Eastwood in Pale Rider, but then again who does.

Bassett makes great use of snow and rain and atmospherics, making the overall film feel much like a Howard story tells – dark, gritty, full of blood and steel and violence.  The movie’s cinematographer, Dan Laustsen, also worked on Brotherhood of the Wolf (also an excellent movie), and you can see the visual similarities.  One of my favorite shots is where Kane beheads an opponent, but it takes three brutal strokes to do it; more “chopping meat” and much less the light, airy pseudoviolence of many recent fantasy movies and TV shows.    (After the film, Bassett told a story about how they got a pig cadaver and had at it with various weapons to try and get a feel for what real weapon brutality would be like.)   Pete Postlethwaite, Max Von Sydow, and other notables fill out the cast.  CGI makes an appearance but is kept to a minimum (except with the too-balrogey demon in the end battle) – Bassett’s preference, as well as a budgetary limitation – the movie was not studio backed, but funded by its producers.

I’m sure there’s some deviant somewhere who will complain that this story isn’t a “pure Howard” Kane story, but it sure gets the tone right, and if successful Bassett wants to go on to make more Kane movies to tell some of Howard’s stories more directly.  I found it to be very enjoyable, similar in tone to The Thirteenth Warrior or Brotherhood of the Wolf.

Fantastic Fest – Merantau

“Merantau,” where the film gets its name, is a kind of vision quest or walkabout for practitioners of silat, an Indonesian martial art.  Indonesia used to export a bunch of B action and martial arts movies until about fifteen years ago when they just plain stopped.  This is pretty much the first one since then.  As the story goes, a Welsh director, Gareth Evans, was in Indonesia making a documentary about silat when he thought “Hey, this looks pretty bad ass, I should make a proper martial arts movie with this.”  He found the star of Merantau, Iko Uwais, driving a truck for a telecom company.

The plot is bog standard – Yuda (Uwais) leaves his country home on his merantau, goes to the big city, falls on hard times (as in real life, apparently, being a super ninja doesn’t pay the bills) and immediately comes across a girl and her scrappy little brother who are in trouble.  A slick gangster is looking to force her into a life of sex slavery with some ruthless white international crime bosses (of uncertain provenance – Dutch?  South African?) .  Only ass kicking can save the day.  So far, this sounds like “Ong-Bak: The Indonesian Version,” right?  Interestingly, however, the movie is well done – the story is about 50% more coherent and the acting about 100% better than Ong-Bak and similar B movies. There are some great scenes between Yuda and his family, especially his mother, played by Christine Hakim.  We were told afterwards that the version of the movie we were screening had 45 minutes of “family drama” cut from it to get to the action more quickly – from what I can see of the actors’ work, that is a shame.  All the characters are interesting and have some depth to them, even the villains – I particularly liked Alex Abbad’s “Jonhi” as the Indonesian pimp/thug trying hard to impress his bosses in a no-win situation; it was played for comedy but with a very light hand.

The martial arts action is good and seeing a new martial art is always interesting. Silat is a very sinuous and close-in style, mixing hard strikes with joint locks and throws.  There are a couple entertainingly brutal takedowns – the crowd favorite was one where Yuda is fleeing thugs across a series of rooftops; he jumps from one roof to another and stops to grab a bamboo pole – when the first mook leaps after him, he gets speared right in the chest in midair and then falls three stories.

The action setpieces, decently though not spectacularly choreographed, aren’t as over the top and interesting as Ong-Bak or some kung fu movies, but with the interesting characters and genuinely emotive acting, I thought Merantau transcended being a generic martial arts movie from Undiscovered Country Of The Month and was a truly enjoyable film overall.  I could tell the crowd at the screening felt the same way; there was a general feeling of (very pleasant) surprise at having expected an unpolished martial arts movie but getting a film with depth and character instead.

Fantastic Fest – First Squad

First Squad was interesting, it was written by Russians but animated by the Japanese  Studio 4°C, which did Animatrix and some other stuff, so the art is very high quality.  It’s about a girl named Nadya who is part of  the Russians’ own paranormal intelligence effort to combat the Nazis’.  Her cadre, the rest of the “First Squad,” is killed in training, but when the Nazis summon the ghost of a dead knight to turn the tide of the Eastern Front, she has to journey to the land of the dead to get them to help.

The interesting thing I thought was that it was done in the style of a documentary; the action would break and you’d go to a (real, not animated) crusty old Russian talking about their war experience or war history or whatnot.  Some of the events in the film, notably the starting and ending battles, were based on historical events so this added a very pleasing “beneath the skin of history” layer to it.

Other than that, the plot and action were kinda “standard” anime, though more coherent that some.  I liked it, though wouldn’t rave about it.   It’s probably the most concise thing I’ve seen out of the Russians ever, however, which makes it notable.

Indulgences, Waves One and Two Reviews Posted

My reviews of Indulgences, Wave One and Wave Two by Sinister Adventures are up on RPG.net.

These two products are four PDFs each, of adventures and supplemental material for D&D 3.5e or Pathfinder specifically designed to support a Razor Coast campaign – but any kind of sea-based adventurers will love them.  Check ’em out!

Cannon for Pathfinder

Field Grade Weapons

Most cannon are cast bronze, smooth bore, muzzleloading weapons, although some are breech-loading and older ones are constructed of iron bars welded and bound together. Because they are expensive and rare, many cannons are ornately carved and decorated, and larger ones often have unique names.

Cannon

Name	       Cost	  Damage   Weight      Range        Mount	Crew	Ready
Bombard	       10,000 gp  12d10    8000 lbs.   400 ft.	    -		6	10/4
Cannon          8,000 gp  10d10    6000 lbs.   300 ft.	    Very Heavy	5	6/3
Demi-cannon     6,000 gp   8d10	   4000 lbs.   250 ft.	    Heavy	4	5/2
Culverin        4,000 gp   6d10	   3000 lbs.   200 ft.	    Medium      3	4/2
Small culverin  2,000 gp   4d10	   2000 lbs.   150 ft.	    Light       2	3/2
Swivel-gun      1,000 gp 2d10/4d6   200 lbs.   100 ft./25 ft.	-	1	2/1

Damage: Assuming solid shot, this is the damage done on a direct hit. Cannon (with the exception of swivel-guns) cannot effectively be aimed at a specific person, but instead are aimed at a specific area with the intent of damaging a structure. Monsters that are size Huge or larger can be individually targeted (assuming they stay still for the several rounds needed to aim and fire the weapon). When a cannon hits its target area, it only does its listed damage to that 10x10x10 part of the structure, not any creature there. (On a natural 20, the cannon hits an unlucky person in that area dead on and does full damage to them as well.) However, cannons often do splash damage. If the cannon is using stone shot and firing into a stone environment (like most towns), this damage comes from stone fragments (slashing), or if the cannon is using any solid shot and firing into a wooden environment (like a ship), the damage comes from wooden shivers (piercing). Anyone in the 10×10 target area must make a DC 15 Reflex save or else take ¼ the direct damage inflicted by the shot from the fragments. For example, if a PC is hiding in a 10×10 wooden shack that is hit by a culverin inflicting 35 points of damage on the structure, he may take 8 points of fragment damage if he fails his save.

Crew: All members of the crew must have at least one rank in Profession: siege engineer.

Ready: Cannons all require the listed number of full round actions to reload and then aim with a normal crew. They must be re-aimed every time they are fired because their recoil moves them significantly out of place. If they are operated with a smaller crew than the listed minimum, the time it takes to reload them is proportionately longer.

Proficiency: All cannon require Profession: Siege Engineer (or Artillerist, or Cannoneer, or whatever you want to call it) to operate.

Inaccurate: All cannon have an inherent -4 to hit penalty due to the difficulty of aiming them precisely. This penalty may be reduced by 1 for every 5 points the gunner has in Profession: siege engineer. A gunner uses their base attack bonus, Int bonus, and other modifiers for range, vision, motion, etc. to determine their total attack bonus.

Misfire: Whenever you roll a natural 1 on an attack roll made with a cannon, the cannon might misfire. The crew chief must immediately roll a Profession: siege engineer check at DC 15 (the rest of the crew may assist). A successful check indicates that the wad simply misfired and the cannon must be reloaded. A failure by up to 5 indicates that the cannon is fouled and requires 2 full rounds to clear before it can be reloaded. A failure by up to 10 means that the cannon gains the broken condition and requires repair before further use. A natural 1 on this check means that the cannon has exploded and does its full normal damage to everyone and everything within 10 ft.

Weapon Descriptions

Bombard: Very large caliber front-loading cannon used in sieges. They fire hundred pound stone balls. Bombards are too large for most ships to carry. A variant of bombard that is used for indirect fire is called the mortars.

Cannon: A heavy bronze cannon firing a 36 to 50 pound shot, also known as a basilisk. These usually can only be placed on the bow mount of very large galleys.

Demi-Cannon: Also known as the cannon-perier, it fires a 24 pound shot. This is the heaviest weapon that can be fired from the side of a ship, and a large ship at that.

Culverin: The culverin is a medium cannon firing an 18 lb shot. These are the most common large weapon mounted broadside on sailing ships.

Small Culverin: Also known as the demi-culverin, this weapon fires a 10 lb shot and is suitable for mounting on many ships, including on the top deck.

Swivel-gun: Swivel-guns, which come in varieties also known as falcons, falconets, or robinets, can take a 1-2 pound solid shot or be filled with a dozen pistol shots. They do 2d10 damage with solid shot, but when loaded with pistol shot do 4d6 damage, less 2 points per range increment, in a 10×10 square. A gunner applies their Dexterity bonus to hit instead of their Int bonus with a swivel-gun.

Ammunition: stone or lead solid shot are the most common ordnance in cannon. There is also chain or bar shot which is effective against rigging (normal solid shot passes through rigging doing only minimum damage). Grapeshot or canister shot can also be used; this does not do structural damage but targets the crew, doing half the listed damage to all crew in a 10x10x10 area.

Analysis

Taking the Stormwrack method of doing ship damage, where e.g. a caravel has 24 hull sections with hardness 5 and 80 hp each, and six must be destroyed to sink the ship – it requires 3-4 good hits with a culverin to destroy one 10x10x10 section. Given that the cannon can only fire slightly better than once a minute, that’s a good balance of enough damage with promoting resolution by boarding and melee. A heavily armed small carrack might sport 2 culverins below and 5 demi-culverins on deck per side, which at that rate could sink a ship of its class but only with some work.

Example of cannon fire: A pirate sloop approaches a merchant caravel and decides to soften them up a bit before closing. They aim their two starboard culverins and fire. The base AC to shoot a caravel is -3 because it’s just a big ass object really (value taken from Stormwrack), or AC3 if you want to shoot at a specific section. In this case the pirates just want to hit wherever on it to demoralize the crew. The ships are 200 yards apart, which is three range increments out for the culverin (-6 range). There is a moderate wind (no penalty) and both the firing platform and the target are moving (-5 for each, says Stormwrack, though that seems high ). Total AC to hit is 13. The master gunner (+5 BAB, +2 Int, 10 ranks in Prof: SE) and a crew of three is manning one gun and a bunch of gunner pirate mooks (+2 BAB, +0 Int, 3 ranks in Prof: SE) are manning the other. So the two shots are +5 vs AC 13 (about a sure thing) and -2 vs AC 13 (hit about half the time).

Modern Warfare

A while ago, I was going to write some essays covering the “underserved” areas of RPGing – cop fiction, crime fiction, and war fiction.  I got through the cop and crime ones but got bogged down before I got to war.  There’s a lot of WWII type gaming out there but not much newer.

I’ve been working over it for a while, and as a preface here’s some books I’ve read on the recent war(s).  They are educational in general but also I will later demonstrate how the most successful military approach – small special operations groups embedded in the local populace – also solves a lot of the problems with creating a modern “War RPG”.

So without further ado, the list!  Together they have given me an extremely interesting and fairly complete perspective on the recent war. Presented in the order I read them.

Not a Good Day to Die: The Untold Story of Operation Anaconda

A very interesting book about a major operation in Afghanistan when the military’s focus had already been diverted to Iraq. Also shows how some of the military intra-unit political BS, seemingly undiminished since Civil War days, fucks things up bad. A good read especially because maybe we’ll actually be trying to go back there and take care of business soon. And man, the terrain is awful. “Sorry,our Apaches can’t fly though air that thin.”  Did you know that Holistic Design came out with a “d20 Afghanistan” game when the war was new?  I have it, it’s pretty good.

In The Company Of Soldiers: A Chronicle of Combat

This one’s OK… Written by a Pulitzer Prize winner, but basically just him following the 101st Airborne in the initial assault on Baghdad. Interesting and action-packed, but necessarily limited in scope. Bonus in that he’s hanging around with Petraeus in the early days, when he was just a major general commanding the 101st. He spends too much time with the officers and not enough with the line units so it’s a bit white-collar. I’d only give it three out of five stars but we’ll be seeing Petraeus more later.

The Last True Story I’ll Ever Tell: An Accidental Soldier’s Account of the War in Iraq

Not awesomely written because it’s just the memoir of a Florida National Guard grunt, but it’s the most pure “soldier experience” of the lot. His unit got kept over there for like three years because his CO wanted to get some of that wartime glory. He ended up all fucked up, hooked on Valium and post-traumatic-stress-disordered. Great look into the everyday soldier’s life over there and how bad it was/is. Definitely movie ready, like that FX “Over There” series or something. Did you know there’s an interesting ashcan RPG called “Black Cadillacs” that tries to insert this kind of experience into a war story?

Imperial Grunts: The American Military on the Ground

Dang, I got ripped off at Half Price Books, this hardbacks’ on sale for $6.99 through Amazon. This is a really scholarly military history book, more than a Black Hawk Down memoir type – the author (who also wrote Balkan Ghosts) goes to every major theater and hangs out with the grunts in everywhere from Colombia to the Philippines to Iraq. He gets a really good view into the weaknesses of the American approach – our specops work fine, but as an organization overall the focus on technology, force protection, etc. is harmful. He basically comes to the exact same conclusions that Petraeus will later as he rewrites the book on COIN before heading back to Iraq. Holistic also did a Colombia d20 RPG, which seemed an odd choice of country to me (they also did Afghanistan and Somalia) but having read this book I understand, and see that the Holistic guys were pretty well plugged in.

One Bullet Away: The Making of a Marine Officer

Now this one’s awesome. This guy went to Dartmouth and decided to go Marine ROTC. I remember his father told him “The Marines will teach you everything about life that I love you too much to.” He later joined First Recon, the even-more-elite arm of the Marines. The book covers everything, from boot camp on through to the end. He brings together the painful on-the-ground experience of “Last True Story” with the analysis of a highly educated mind of “Imperial Grunts.” He leaves the military because he sees that their anti-civilian approach was so damn retarded (going on to a dual Harvard Law/ Kennedy Business double major program). Oh, and you know that Rolling Stone guy’s “Generation Kill” book that HBO made into a series or something? It was THIS GUY’S UNIT.

The Gamble: General David Petraeus and the American Military Adventure in Iraq, 2006-2008

All the previous books were older. This one is kinda the payoff for all of them though. Turns out after the initial run on Baghdad they squirrelled Petraeus away at the Army war college and he rewrote the book on counterinsurgency (literally). A retired general named Keane saw how jacked up things were and pulled strings from retirement to basically bypass the Chiefs of Staff and get Petraeus and others in place commanding in Iraq and give them the latitude they needed to get stuff done. Basically he recognized the entire approach was wrong and that the military had deliberately tossed out everything they learned from Vietnam. The surge, which I admit I thought was a retarded idea, wasn’t just a “throw more heads at it” play, it was part of a transformation from the approach, so well illustrated in these previous books, of “hide in a fortress, then drive around in armored Humvees to see if anyone will shoot at us” to the more “community policing” model of COIN that Kaplan identified as so successful in other theaters back in Imperial Grunts. In the end, though, it portrays the surge as being successful at achieving more modest goals – but the question of “no really, is it worth doing?” is still unanswered.

More on the RPG angle later, but I wanted to share the bibliography first.