Category Archives: talk

Fantastic Fest – Movie Summary

I will endeavor to write a review for each one of these fine films.  But here’s a cheat sheet!  I’ve stack ranked all the movies I saw here, from the ones I liked best to the ones I liked least.  There are really only two movies I disliked enough that I regretted seeing them, and only one of those intensely.

Must See

These are all instant classics I’d like to own the DVD of.  You should see them – alternately,  some don’t have distribution, so if you’re in “the biz” you should get a piece of them and distribute them!

  • Fish Story, a Japanese movie about a punk song that saves the world.  It is beautiful.  10/10.
  • Dirty Mind, a Belgian drama about a stuntman who gets a frontal lobe injury and turns from zero into Rico Suave.  Funny and thought-provoking.  9/10.
  • Stingray Sam, a sci-fi Western musical and one of the most hilarious things I saw at the festival.  9/10.
  • Mandrill, a South American version of James Bond.  Just enough camp.  9/10.
  • Zombieland, the big star-studded zombie comedy.  Nut up or shut up!  9/10.
  • The Revenant, a very well done movie of modern undead life.  9/10.
  • Doghouse, British zombie survival horror comedy.  Like Shawn of the Dead but with a touch of Return of the Living Dead.  8/10.
  • Rampage, by infamous director Uwe Boll.  Columbine meets Die Hard.  8/10.
  • Merantau – Indonesian martial arts, but transcends the genre.  8/10.

Should See

When you go to see one of these in the theater, you come out feeling your money was well spent.  Much better than the stuff playing on “SyFy”.

  • Sweet Karma, a chick-revenge killing movie with great gratuitous nudity and good twist.  7/10.
  • Salvage, a British horror/thriller.  7/10, higher with a better editing job.
  • Metropia, a dystopian uniquely animated movie.  7/10.
  • Crazy Racer, an over the top Chinese version of a Guy Richie movie.  7/10.
  • Kamogawa Horumo aka “Battle League in Kyoto”, a Japanese movie with a funny supernatural twist.  7/10.
  • REC 2 – The first REC was the movie Quarantine was based on.  This is the sequel, which kicks off immediately after the events in the first one, Halloween 2 style.  7/10.
  • Krabat, a German movie based on a young adult novel called “The Satanic Mill” (yeah, that’s how the Germans roll).  6/10.
  • Hard Revenge Milly, a bloody Japanese chick-revenge actioner.  6/10.
  • Ninja Assassin – Rain is a ninja killing ninja!  An over the top ninja actioner.  Ninja!  6/10.
  • Buratino, Son of Pinnochio, a weird Estonian film that’s like a light-hearted and musical version of Clockwork Orange.  6/10.
  • House of the Devil, a movie trying to replicate in every detail the typical late ’70s/early ’80s horror movie.  6/10.
  • District 13: Ultimatum, a sequel to the first French parkour-and-martial-arts dystopian actioner.  Dumb but fun.  6/10.
  • First Squad – Russian anime.  Pretty good if not exceptional.  6/10.
  • House (Hausu), an older Japanese film I describe as “John Waters does Evil Dead.”  5/10.

Could See

About what you’d expect from a good day on SyFy/Chiller.

  • Survival of the Dead, George Romero’s newest zombie movie, somewhat disappointing.  5/10.
  • Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl, Japanese splatter comedy.  5/10.
  • Under the Mountain, a young adult movie from New Zealand; apparently based on some famous book/TV series and bearing some similarity to Escape to Witch Mountain.  5/10, higher if you’re a kid.
  • Yesterday, good old fashioned zombie survival horror on a super low budget.  4/10.
  • Cropsey, a documentary about an alleged child murderer from Staten Island named Andre Rand that just doesn’t deliver much.  4/10.

Bah

These movies made me sad.

Stuff I Didn’t See

All this is complete hearsay.  But I heard from many people about many movies, and here’s my summary of the buzz.

The Good

Love Exposure, a 4 hour long Japanese movie about upskirt photography (among other things) was rave reviewed by everyone I talked to who saw it. I just couldn’t fit in a 4 hour movie in my schedule.

Down Terrace was also very well reviewed, but I missed it.

The Mixed

Clive Barker’s Dread – very mixed.  Some people hated it and walked out, bored.  Others say if you stay for the end it’s a big twist and gory demented.

I did not hear good things about Paranormal Activity, a new major release that’s like Blair Witch in your bedroom.  Same with Antichrist, the Lars von Trier horror vehicle.

The Human Centipede, about a surgeon who nabs three people and sews them together ass to mouth  into a big human centipede.  It won an award, but I didn’t talk to a single person that liked it.

Random Thoughts

Shorts.  Shorts are good.  I wonder why genre channels like Chiller and SyFy don’t run more shorts just interspersed with their programs; there are a lot of good ones, they’re cheap…

This was a “genre” festival.  That’s code for “good stuff Hollywood doesn’t like”  It’s an odd mix – zombie movies, horror movies, martial arts movies, foreign movies, R rated movies, non-G rated animated movies…  In today’s studio system, films like Sweet Karma, a solid thriller that’s a solid R but not a “horror ghetto” movie like Saw, don’t have a place, sadly.  I was actually surprised at how many movies weren’t traditional horror/sci-fi/martial arts genre movies.

Fantastic Fest – Day 8

The final day of Fantastic Fest was as fun as the first.  Except, for some reason, the line for tickets in the morning was even longer!  I swear, the lines got longer as the festival went on, not shorter.

On my slate for the day were:

Sadly I didn’t get into Daybreakers, not even on standby.  I had seen everything else in the slot, so I had a beer and went home to get some decent sleep before work the next day.

The festival was DOPE.  I really enjoyed it.  The skilled Alamo staff and ticketing system made it a very painless experience.  The only way it could have been better is if I had a VIP badge.  They put the 2010 badges on sale during the festival and they sold out in a minute and a half.  Doh.  The demand is outgrowing the supply; maybe they need to expand to two venues full time or something.

I met a lot of fun people.  Shouts out to Tyler from Shreveport and Chris the Shakyface Queen.  And I’m crushing on Rae, the Alamo chick who kept everything running on time.  Everyone was very friendly and it was easy to strike up conversations with fans, filmmakers, and everybody else.

Fantastic Fest – Day 7

By skipping the “100 Best Kills” party last night, I got something approaching 8 hours of sleep.  Woot! But then the Alamo ticket line was even longer than it has been on previous days.  Boo.

My lineup for the day:

  • Sweet Karma, a revenge killing movie with, I am told, great gratuitous nudity
  • Yesterday, good old fashioned zombie survival horror
  • Private Eye, a Korean pulp detective film
  • Doghouse, yet more zombie survival horror

I had been planning on Private Eye but then the buzz on Fish Story was so good I was going to switch, but it’s sold out, so back to Private Eye.  Maybe I’ll try standby for Fish Story and fall back if necessary.

Also under consideration was S&M Hunter in the midnight slot – but it turns out it’s not just in the midnight slot, but over at the Alamo Ritz instead of here so would require a time-crunched transition and paying for parking downtown.  That’s two strikes so unless I am feeling REALLY motivated for some softcore tonight I’ll pass.

Fantastic Fest – Day 6

Whew, caught up on my “daily” postings.  Pretty much every day I wake up, drive to the Alamo 2+ hours early to get in line and get tickets, watch movies for 14 hours, drive home, and crash.  Tim, one of the festival’s co-chairs, introduced the first movie of the day with “Welcome to day 17 of Fantastic Fest!” and that’s certainly what it feels like.

What am I seeing today, you ask?  Well, the plan is:

  • Salvage, a British horror/thriller
  • Rampage, by infamous director Uwe Boll.  I wasn’t planning on seeing this but all the buzz I hear from people has been so positive that I’m going to catch it.
  • Ninja Assassin – if I can get in on standby, it sold out quick.  Otherwise, Succubus.
  • Short Fuse, a collection of shorts
  • The 100 Best Kills party, if I don’t feel like going home and to bed at midnight

Yesterday was a success in retrospect; though I wanted to walk out of Hard Revenge Milly: Bloody Battle, both Mandrill and Stingray Sam are sticking with me as high points of the festival.

Fantastic Fest – Day 5

Monday has come and with it the second half of the festival.  I’m starting to have to watch my bank account closely, as being in the Alamo all day is harmful to my checking account balance.

Today I saw:

Some were really good and some were really bad; this was definitely the biggest mixed-bag day for me.  Stingray Sam and Mandrill are AWESOME.  Cropsey was not.  Hard Revenge Milly was decent but the sequel, Bloody Battle, was awful.  Full reviews will follow!

Fantastic Fest – Day 4

I was a bit disappointed with yesterday; my chosen lineup wasn’t as strong as the first two days’ had been.  So I took off the first half of the day to spend some time with my daughter, as a week’s a long time to spend away from her.

There was still time for a pretty good set of movies – since I got there late I didn’t get tickets to all the ones I wanted but that’s what “standby” is for; I’ve had good luck with it.  My agenda consisted of:

  • Buratino, Son of Pinnochio, a weird Estonian film that’s like a light-hearted and musical version of Clockwork Orange
  • Dirty Mind, about a Belgian stuntman who gets a frontal lobe injury and turns from zero-nerd into Rico Suave
  • House of the Devil, a movie trying to replicate in every detail the typical late ’70s/early ’80s horror movie
  • District 13: Ultimatum, a sequel to the first French parkour-and-martial-arts dystopian actioner

Reviews will follow, but all these were good in their own way!  Especially Dirty Mind, which I think is probably the best movie I’ve seen so far.

Fantastic Fest – Day 3

Man, it’s getting harder to get up early as the festival progresses.  Luckily, my car eagerly devoured the 25 mile commute to the theater to get in line at 9 AM to pick up tickets.  My lineup for today:

I was thinking about seeing the Japanese movie Fish Story at 11AM but it was sold out – I have heard a lot of positive buzz on it.  And sadly Survival of the Dead went really long so I missed Revenant; it was past its show time by the time I got out of the lovely downtown Paramount theater and the other venue was some distance away.

Fantastic Fest – Vampire Girl Vs. Frankenstein Girl

I knew I was in trouble when a bunch of pantsless Japanese men took the stage to introduce this film.  Director Yoshihiro Nishimura of Tokyo Gore Police and other splatter comedies introduced this film as being “along the lines of his previous work, but with more high school girls.”  If you are delicate of constitution you don’t want to keep reading this review.

Then came a short called “61 minutes” that is like a missing chapter from Tokyo Gore Police – “it happens 61 minutes into Tokyo Gore Police, between the fight with the girl with an alligator vagina and when the guy shows up with a big penis gun!”  We open on a woman with a big cock on her nose, and cocks like Medusa’s snakes all over her head, who fights police in metal Samurai armor by shooting cocks at them to explode their heads as blood sprays and rains down for minutes at a time and then a wizened old Indian (feathers, not dots) hit man shows up to fight her and her nose cock gets chopped off but then it becomes a flamethrower but when she flames the Indian he gets a stripper body and then I started crying and flashing back to when a friend and I rented “Tetsuo: The Iron Man” and ran out of booze and were forced to drink Amaretto and cooking brandy to dull the pain.

It had already been a long day and that short really took the starch out of me.  Luckily, Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl (though full of five minute long blood-spray sequences) wasn’t quite as bizarre as the short.  It’s a basic love triangle between hapless high school boy, a vampire, and a normal high school girl whose dad is a witch doctor/Dr. Frankenstein guy who turns her into a cobbled-together monster.  Filling out the film with unsubtle and tasteless humor (in the vein of the Scary Movie franchise)  is the “wrist cutting club” and the girls who color themselves to look like black people (“ganguro“, an actual Japanese fad).  Besides normal vampire powers, Vampire Girl makes things like sword-arms out of clotted blood.  Mainly, it’s full of caricatures capering around and fighting among spraying globules of blood and severed body parts recombining into more and more bizarre creatures.

It was definitely different.  Not high art, but trying to achieve a shlock high and bring the gore and bizarrity of the Troma films to a new apex.   It’s certainly entertaining from an “experience crazy Japanese people wallowing in blood” point of view – for me, a once-a-year kind of thing.  I can’t say it’s a “good” movie but it’s certainly – unusual.  Just make sure you  have enough booze on hand.  I have to say, even though I still had tickets to Doghouse at midnight, this movie drained me for the day and I headed home.

Fantastic Fest – Day 2

Day 2 of Fantastic Fest was a total blast.  As a regular badge holder, I showed up 2 hours before the movies started to pick up tickets – I thought I was going to be early but the line was already huge.  The Alamo staff cranked through the whole thing in 30 minutes flat and I still got into everything I wanted to.  I am so impressed with how smoothly the logistics are going for this festival.

With time to burn, I headed over to Casa Garcias for some breakfast tacos.  Then I went back over to the Alamo and tried to catch up on this blog, but for some reason I’m having a chronic “Can’t get IP address” issue there.  Alas.  Life is SO HARD <sob>.

My movie lineup for day two is:

  • Kamogawa Horumo aka “Battle League in Kyoto”, a Japanese movie left largely undescribed in the program as “it’s craaaaazy wild!”
  • Krabat, a German movie based on a young adult novel called “The Satanic Mill” (yeah, that’s how the Germans roll)
  • Zombieland, the big star-studded world premiere of the day
  • Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl, Japenese splatter comedy
  • Doghouse, a horror comedy

I ended up not seeing Doghouse; after a long day of movies and a back and forth to the Paramount for Zombieland, I decided to start the long drive home at midnight rather than at 2 AM.  But reviews of the rest follow!  (Well, I got impatient and posted my review of Zombieland when I got home last night because it was just so good.)

Fantastic Fest – Day 1!

In a break from the normal RPG-only content hereabouts, I will be blogging about my visit to Fantastic Fest 2009!  FF is a week-long film festival here in Austin, TX with a focus on the “weird stuff” – horror, martial arts, foreign…  It’s co-sponsored by Harry Knowles of Ain’t It Cool News.  I had a bunch of vacation to take by the end of the year, and decided since I’ve never done a film festival before, it would be a fun thing to try!

They have a pretty streamlined process where you get all your tickets for the day first thing, so you don’t have to stand in line for specific shows just to discover you don’t get in.  I discovered that, sadly, even though I was here early  I didn’t get a ticket to see Solomon Kane, the movie based on the Robert E. Howard hero by the same name.  So my lineup for the day is:

  • First Squad – Russian anime (No, really!)
  • Merantau – Indonesian martial arts.  (No, really!)
  • Short Fuse, a collection of shorts.  This was the Solomon Kane slot, as well as some big premiere for “Gentleman Broncos“, another outing by the Hess brothers, the Napoleon Dynamite guys.  I’m not too interested in Broncos, so I chose the shorts, and am wondering about the possibility of going standby for no-shows for Solomon Kane.
  • REC 2 – The first REC was the movie Quarantine was based on.  This is the sequel, which kicks off immediately after the events in the first one, Halloween 2 style.

This is a short day, subsequent days have like 5-6 slots.  Can my butt stand it?  We’ll find out.

Hooray for the Alamo

It’s made a lot easier by the fact that most of the screenings are at several of the Alamo Drafthouse locations.  For you poor bastards that don’t have something like this, the Alamo has a full service food and drink menu that they bring to your seat; each row of seats has a table-counter-thing in front of it to hold your, for example, pizza and bucket of beer.  Quite civilized.  They play entertaining shorts and old movie trailers and whatnot in the time leading up to the film, too, so the usual procedure is to show up really early, get settled in, order your food while watching the trailers and talking, and then you’re all set when the movie starts.   The Alamo is an Austin institution; there’s 4 in Austin and they’ve spread to San Antonio and Houston (and, weirdly, West Virginia.)

D&D Soda!?!

Check it out – limited edition D&D “Spellcasting Soda” from Jones Soda.  I know I hate Wizards of the Coast now and I shouldn’t like this, but really it’s pretty cool and entertaining.  I want “Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer.”   I wonder if they taste good?  My only Jones experience was with a holiday novelty pack and it tasted like burning, but those were admittedly weird flavors.

Sinister Adventures Adds Savage Worlds Support!

Nick Logue’s RPG imprint, Sinister Adventures, has put out some good lil’ PDF tidbits and is about ready to put out their first large, blood-soaked adventure, Razor Coast.  They have a couple more things in the pipeline.  They had already announced that their products would support both D&D 3.5e and Pathfinder – when  you buy, you get to pick which print copy you want, and you get both PDFs for your trouble.

This was cool enough, but today they announced that their stuff will also support Savage Worlds!  SW is an increasingly popular alternative for groups (including ours) who want a game without the huge rule weight of modern D&D and don’t like retroclones.

I’ve been waiting for Razor Coast eagerly, and being able to run it in either system will be a big draw for me because it means more potential for reuse.  So props to Sinister for this big move!